Free Range by Bill Whitehead for March 25, 2021

He has a “tropical” disease.

It’s the commute, of course.

He’s mad because they won’t let him park his boat on the street…

Seats are all taken.

The traffic is horrendous

They’re always in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

They never serve any refreshments.

“I don’t like my neighbor.”?

Get off my island!

I’m not your neighbor; I’m your landlord!

I can no longer afford their HOA fees (never could, actually).

Yeah, he said he’d join the swim safety task force.

Yeah? So where’ve you been the last 3 meetings?

TWO Plaid Shirts!!! YYYYYAAAAAA!!!!

“I need you to stop sh*ting on my side of the island and don’t tell me it wasn’t you.

I refuse to pay my association because of these conditions.

He moved.

Reminder: No matter how thirsty you get, do NOT drink the sea water.

Because last time the association publicly shamed me about the unauthorized razing of the other coconut tree when I tried to make a raft.

How did he know?

“Remember when there was the HOA recall election initiated by the 80% of the HOA board of 5 and I lost 32 to 34, thereby taking away all my purely voluntary duties?”