Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for January 15, 2017

After 57 years, they finally caught up with me! But I’ll be damned if I will attend!

Or so they say…

I mean, the way they go on, you’d think it was my fault the SS teacher died of apoplexy…

Sunday School was fun, and always had free treats available such as cookies and milk..

I had a “very good reason” as well.

I decided it was rubbish when all my ecclesiastical questions were answered like so many vague Trump campaign promises.

A farrago of flusterments.

I fear the Reaper, not…

Reason, no Sunday go to meetin’ hat. No hat, no go.

Fortunately, I attended a parochial school where we got Sunday larnin’ every day from the Nuns, who could be abusive and possibly sociopaths, but conducted their sessions in full view of the entire student body. It was weird when they stopped using Latin for the daily Mass. They maintained it for Requiem Masses on request, though.

Indoctrinate your children early.God forbid that they should grow up and become a humanist.

Simply put, Mercerism is the religion that binds the community together. It is the major religion that is run by a man/thing named Mercer that preaches empathy and togetherness by the use of clever video broadcasts, and a type of technology (the empathy box) that allows other people to share in Mercer’s past experience of climbing a steep hill with rocks thrown at him. Mercer climbs the hill eternally and is pelted with rocks to reach his enlightenment at the top.

.

We can give you this experience at my Sunday School.

Sunday morning church service… Sunday School… Wednesday night prayer meeting… Vacation Bible School… The annual Big Tent Revival Meeting… The annual Christmas and Easter service… ??? This God you worship seems very needy.

Too bad there wasn’t a little more emphasis on Matt. 11:15.

And those without ears? Are they relegated to the bowels of the Frog Appluase comment section?

Applause.

I grew out of needing an imaginary friend when I was 5 and tuned out until I got my own car and then spent Sunday mornings at the beach. My mother did not catch on until I was away at university.

Alas for your dire warnings. in my church we do not “do” Sunday School. But I did have the good nuns to keep me on the straight and narrow, until they got out of the habit….

Lame joke, right?

Will I go to hell for that, Sr. Teresa?