Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for September 26, 2018

I want my free GoComics subscription back!

So many clicks, so little reward.

No returns, no exchanges.

And also the national bird of Froglandia!

… my only regrets are my contributions to FAX…

… that doesn’t look like remorse to me…

… happiness is a warm Frog Applause…

… knock, knock…

…who’s there?… Terry…

… Terry who?…

… there’s no Terry…

… you can’t prove there’s a Terry…

… no Terry, here…

… move along…

“Oh. The cops are on their way. I already called them. I was watching on the wifi. I came down when the shooting stopped. You must be Grim Death. That whole assassin thing was never real. It’s all hype. I’m surprised you bought it, really. Pete always said you were dumb. Too dumb to be anything but honest was what he said. I wasn’t Flipper’s muscle. I was his prisoner. Family is the worst. In fact, I was going to disappear soon. Flipper was moving with the big power players now. He was going to erase everything that could tie him to the past, like me, or you, or Pete. Pete never saw it coming. He’d been on the payroll so long, he though he was going along for the ride, onward and upward. And he thought you were the stupid one. Tragic, really.”

Why did I ever start reading this lame comic? Now I’m the lamest in the land, and I can’t stop.

Okay, everyone, raise your right hand and repeat Old Wolf’s comment.

Dear Mr. Sumo

Thank you for your kind inquiry re: “snail caviar” yesterday.

When the Research Department at the Frog Applause™ – Rotifer Thalweg Gocomics Appreciation Society (“FARTGAS”) was helping me prepare for the Frog Applause™ 10th Anniversary Extravaganza by digging deep for interesting words and phrases coined or sampled by FA over the years, several interns found a reference in an old FA strip to “snail caviar.”

Unfortunately, all the FA 10th research notes at FARTGAS’ main office were destroyed by a fire when Rotifer’s stash of illegal untaxed Italian sourced pasta self ignited last year, and we can’t locate the notes to provide you with the exact date of the FA strip in question.

Sincerely,

Rotifer’s Mother

P.S. This may be more than you wanted to know.

Without remorse some of us would never have captured the differences between the b, the y, and the q. Those old headphones were squawky.

Help, is this the old braided bunch house for sell?

I regret nothing. Not even that carrot patch i defiled last year.

If you’re a careless typist, you might end up with a buyer’s remora stuck on you.

How much did you pay for her?

Those applying for refunds will be noted in the Froglandia Giant Book O’ Shame. Their Ceremonial Baloney Plugs forcefully retired, and their persons expelled beyond the gates of the shire, where ravens will rend their bestest dollies and dollar-menu selves to piffle!

No buyer’s remorse here; I stole my copy.

Is it “Buyer’s Remorse” OR is it “Buyers’ Remorse” …? Singular and plural apostrophe-philes and FA folks have a need to know !

The primitive people of Froglandia are a joyous odd lot who get a mysterious pleasure from obscure comments.

2006 ad or bc? How old are you in spiritual years?

Lame Dissonance: a concept embraced by “Frog Applause” readers since 2006.

Nobody has yet commented on the image of the rather stereotypical Chinese girl. I suppose that is what Teresa is expressing remorse for having purchased/stolen/downloaded from some such source as Googly Images….

I am hardened beyond remorse, however, as far as Frog Applause is concerned. I accepted appointment as the official Grammar Police of FA. I acquired dual citizenship (Froglandia/USA). All these things I have done. I have no remorse. I am remorselessly Lame….

She’s smiling with laughter at all the fools of whom that pay for a yearly GC INSIDER membership..