Herman by Jim Unger for July 31, 2020

Sorry, he likes his bones with some meat on them.

At least the guy made it most of the way over, so he’s not is such bad shape as he looks.

A mailman wearing a sweater-vest and a tie?!? Looks more like a bus driver.

That’s not a mail bag. That’s a purse. No wonder the dog bit him.

Why? I’ve got ham here.

She’ll be going to the Post Office to pick up her mail.

As a paperboy, most of the dogs on the route liked me. MOST, that is. One guy thought his dog was mean, but all he wanted was a pat on the head.

I’ve been bitten three times in my life – all by little dogs that thought they were German Shephards. The first was a Cocker Spaniel on my paper route when I was a kid. The second was an obnoxious Chihuahua owned by a guest at a resort I managed, and the third was by my daughter’s devious Dachshund who took every opportunity he could find to nail me.

Neighbor had a dog fence but always left the gate open so his ankle biter could get to walkers more easily. [at least that’s why I thought his perfectly good gate stayed open] He would sit on porch and say nothing. That was in the 1950’s so I guess that was his early entertainment before tv was everywhere.

Anyway, one day I noticed nipper’s shadow coming for my ankle. I waited until he was about to bite then kicked back as hard as I could. Cost the pest a tooth. Another nearby porch sitter applauded as it yipped back home. Can’t say it cured the pup but it saved its energy for other walkers.

Not surprisingly the mutt’s owner yelled at me for picking on his pooch and, not surprisingly, I returned him a very explicit Anglo-Saxon blessing.

It was nearly the end of him.

“There’s a lot more bones in this mailman.”

What’s interesting is that she’s talking to her kid, not her dog.