Kliban by B. Kliban for July 10, 2019

“We have nothing to be paranoid about but paranoia itself.”

…don’t make me open another can of whoop ass…

This can of Paranoia brought to you by the Free Masons … (look at the label)

There’s something happening here

What it is ain’t exactly clear

There’s a man with a gun over there

Telling me I got to beware

I think it’s time we stop, children, what’s that sound

Everybody look what’s going down

There’s battle lines being drawn

Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong

Young people speaking their minds

Getting so much resistance from behind

It’s time we stop, hey, what’s that sound

Everybody look what’s going down

What a field-day for the heat

A thousand people in the street

Singing songs and carrying signs

Mostly say, hooray for our side

It’s s time we stop, hey, what’s that sound

Everybody look what’s going down

Paranoia strikes deep

Into your life it will creep

It starts when you’re always afraid

You step out of line, the man come and take you away

We better stop, hey, what’s that sound

Everybody look what’s going down

Stop, hey, what’s that sound

Everybody look what’s going down

Stop, now, what’s that sound

Everybody look what’s going down

Stop, children, what’s that sound

Everybody look what’s going down

~S. Stills

It’s a Paranoia brand can of worms.

What he needs is his own can of whup-ass.

Maybe some canned laughter would cheer him up.

Open the can to remove all fears….

Best served warm.

If you had a feeling that something that looked like something else that was a threat, you’d have pareidolia paranoia. And you could sing about it to the tune of “Mona Lisa”.

Just because I know that everyone’s out to get me, it doesn’t make me paranoid.

He already knows the Illuminati is trying to get him to open that can.

The worst part….the very worst part…he doesn’t have a can opener!

“I hate canned! Bring me frozen!”