Last Kiss by John Lustig for May 13, 2022

Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.

It didn’t work for your parents.

Funny how the same people who think abstinence education will work for 14 year olds forgive Donald Trump for sleeping with a porn star while his wife was pregant.

It’s not you but the guys you meet who practice abstinence WTH YOU.

Abstinence is fine if that’s what you choose — which actually more young people are doing than ever before. But it is also okay to have consensual sex with another adult and to have the freedom to not have kids if you don’t want.

E’yup…..moving on. XD

Even ReThuglicans fail to come to grips with abstinence. But then they never could get a hold of themselves. It just slips through their fingers. Just too little to work with.

Ummm, yeah! Reminds me of my typing teacher….the old maid, cranky and stern….

…and this is the proper left hand technique for playing the double bass…

So I guess Peter was wasting his time sneaking all those sex instruction manuals into the room where you and his Uncle Ben slept.

People that like to preach abstinence just can’t get laid.

Mr. Brandewitz can’t dress like that at school anymore.

Those sponges really worked!

I asked a Catholic friend how they handle the birth control issue.

“Well”, he said, “We use a combination of sex at regular intervals and abstinence.”

“Oh, I see, Rhythm and Blues…”

I can see why.

There are ways of getting around abstinence meaning no sex. Check out the Mormon teen sex act call “soaking.” I’m still not convinced that this story is real. However, if you don’t call it sex, then it’s not sex.

John, pardon me for noticing, but that teacher still has a fine figure for her age.

Abstinence is easier for some than for others.

Others often help keep some abstinent.

(Especially the ones who yell, “Absolutely not!! And don’t ask again!!”)

Less generous others want us for our bodies and say, “I was wondering when you would respond to my signals.” This makes abstinence harder, especially when you don’t want to hurt their feelings.

On the last day of school: “Ha! The joke’s on you all. I don’t abstain, but I’m still not pregnant!”

She’s always abstained for days at a time.

There was a guy I knew who liked to date older ladies. His motto was, “they won’t tell, they won’t swell, and they’re grateful as hell”.

Gah….what was the teachers name in the Archie comics….

Yeah, I will forget her!

If you are old and unattractive and cranky enough, you have no need to practice abstinence, Ma’am. Others will practice it for you. ’Course, I have seen some maternity documentaries that made me wonder, “Who the heck was desperate enough to — that woman??!”, and on the other hand, ’have also seen some men who were fathers that made me question how he conned some poor woman into it….

Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.