Loose Parts by Dave Blazek for May 02, 2020

Had to laugh since I wear progressive lenses myself.

my lenses are regressive…

Faster than a speeding bullet, able to fry three eggs at a time…

I remember getting my first bifocals. The only way to see anything clearly out of them is to point your nose straight at what you want to see. This is 180 degrees out of sync with what i was taught in pilot training: move your eyes, not your head.

Even NASA hasn’t figured out how he does that.

I hate glasses

I’ve worn glasses since second grade. I went to progressives around the age of 50; it took me more than three months to get used to them. During that time there were no straight lines or right angles in my world. Thank the ghods my brain finally adjusted; couldn’t do without ’em now.

And Superman needs glasses because . . . ?

I’ve been wearing progressives for a while now. Every now and then, I’ll wonder why my computer screen isn’t coming into focus and I’ll move my head up and down trying to get the screen to come in focus, only to realize, I didn’t have my glasses on. It’s amazing how our brains work and our muscle memory.

…able to light two cigarettes in a single blink.

Superman doesn’t wear glasses. When he puts on glasses, he becomes someone else.

Perfect!! I’m an optician and will show this to every new wearer of progressive lenses.