Loose Parts by Dave Blazek for September 14, 2020

Looks like the legend needs excalibration.

“Art”, I like it.

he needs it back right away, art – chop, chop…

I was right! It is called a “little red rubber kitchen grippy thing”!

And then he went on to undo the Gordian Knot – or am I getting my history mixed up?

The sword used to be a precise measuring instrument before it was reforged – it was an excaliper.

You might expect, to pay $19.95 for the Little Red Grippy Kitchen Thing, but if you act now we will only charge you $7.95. That’s right, only $7.95. And wait, that’s not all. With your purchase we will actually give you a second Little Red Grippy Kitchen Thing. But we’re not done yet. We’ll include that Cap Snaffler,; opens all size caps, big caps, small caps, and it really really works. Operators are standing by. (Shipping not included.)

But the question remained… Who kept oiling the sword hilt so no one could pull it out?

Ours is called a Round Tuit and of course the ads say get a Round Tuit now.

Thanks, Merlin; it worked like magic!

He who pulls the “little red rubber kitchen grippy thing” from the stone SHALL be King…

The sword was put into the stone by the same people who invented the child-proof cap.

But wait there’s more. Act now and we’ll send you a second Sword In Stone Remover . Just pay a separate fee.

What, not one Monty Python comment?? Okay, guess it’s up to me:

Dennis the Peasant: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Arthur: Be quiet!

Dennis: You can’t expect to wield supreme power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

— Monty Python and the Holy Grail

An engineer would call it a “mu mitten”.