Matt Bors for August 03, 2011

Transcript:

Once-mighty daily newspapers are dying like dogs, unable to make a buck in the Information Age. Man With Glasses: I'm not going to PAY for something I can get at home for FREE! DRUDGE EXACTLY. No self-respecting American would do that...UNLESS it is placed in a clear plastic shell. BOTTLED NEWS Clear Spring POST From the most pristine sources Man: WOW! Woman: Nice label! Bottle a daily rag and people will suddenly want to drop $4.00 on it. Man: You DO realize what a rip-off that is? Woman: I CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE! Print will be SAVED and loyal readers will SWEAR bottled is better! Man With Glasses: The Times purifies David Brooks with "reverse osmosis." He sucks much less now!