Moderately Confused by Jeff Stahler for December 26, 2018

Many happy returns.

All ingredients to put in the plastic soup.

I thought they were garbage bags after Christmas.

OK, so this is going to sound sappy. I’ve already returned my Christmas gifts: love.

And that’s just this morning’s load. Wait until the back to work lunch crowd hits.

Just when you thought you could take a break.

Drive through the alley and you can see what your neighbor got for Christmas. Discard your empty boxes discreetly, sad to say but burglars watch this stuff.

I give ugly gifts out just to make them go get their own.

That did happen in the 1985 film Santa Claus: the Movie where Dudley Moore played an elf who failed to realize his methods were slipshod, resulting in defective toys. The toys come back, causing Santa to exclaim “Returns? We have never had returns!”