Monty by Jim Meddick for July 29, 2013

As Danae would say, “The noise in your head is leaking.”

At this point, speed dating becomes really appealing

Monty…she’s gonna be too much hard work.

Shh. Where do you find these dates, Monty? In the want ads under “personal”?

But you HAVE to eat anything with a face. Unless you eat intravenously.

“If God didn’t want us to eat animals, He wouldn’t have made them out of meat.” – Homer Simpson.

Or: “If God did want us to eat meat he wouldn’t have made cows so delicious.” .I first heard it from Dr. Stephen P. Colbert, DFA. But it may have been originally from Mr. H. J. Simpson for all I know.

have you ever been on a Ranch were they baked a cows head and cracked it open to eat the brains yum yum, and the eyes glazed over.

I’ve done a few whole piglets roasted in the backyard oven.

I’ll be vegetarian only as long as it takes to get my BP low without meds (but have promised doctor and myself) to try a full year (until next Valentine’s day). Then, I do plan a nice feast not quite the same as 2-14-13 with a big cut of filet, but at least the caviar with iced Stoli. I might do a dozen baked oysters instead of the steak; green beans are yummy and potatoes carved into mushrooms. and I’ll do Something Great for dessert if not this Pannecotta with fresh fruit.

Monty obviously has nothing in common with this gal.

This must be another blind date. She looks normal with those mirror glasses.

You can be sure Monty won’t work at this relationship, he just doesn’t get it. She will just dump him. As to vegetarians who don’t like to kill animals the vegetables have to die so you can eat. It is a fact of like, something has to die so we can eat. Period.

Ask her if she eats gummy worms.