Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for April 12, 2012

  1. Stewiebrian
    pouncingtiger  over 12 years ago

    That bartender forgot that his customers are there to DRink, not to THink.

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  2. Kenny
    The Nihilist  over 12 years ago

    Time for a new bar, that’s all…

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    DGWillie  over 12 years ago

    A realist says the glass is always completely full: half with beer, half with air.

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    DamnHappyChappy  over 12 years ago

    and I say let me drink my beer in peace!!

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    roctor  over 12 years ago

    Bartender, “Okay a half shot for full price”.

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    puddleglum1066  over 12 years ago

    Yep (said the retired engineer), that glass is exactly twice as big as it needs to be..But no matter what, the Irishman (yep, I’m one of them too, not retired) will ever say, “Are you gonna drink that?”

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    Ginrummy33  over 12 years ago

    If your glass is half full, then you’ve got too big of a glass.

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    ZAMonkey  over 12 years ago

    Pistols at dawn?

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    psychlady  over 12 years ago

    Talking too much is a good way to get in trouble.

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  10. Mas11
    Oddname  over 12 years ago

    The problem is that the pessimist never sounds pessimistic enough. The glass isn’t just half empty. There are splinters in the beer, which is probably too warm anyway. And what about the music? Huh!

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  11. Grog poop
    GROG Premium Member over 12 years ago

    It’s either empty or full. I don’t do half measures.

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    Varnes  over 12 years ago

    Whadaya want, eggs in your beer? My dad always used to say that. I saw him do it a couple of times…gross…

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    Dr_Fogg  over 12 years ago

    it’s just a half a glass… of stupid juice. Stupid juice makes the partaker of such more stupid than they were before sitting down to partake there of. Just read/watch the news you’ll see that I do not lie.

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    zoidknight  over 12 years ago

    The pilot says “Are you going to finish that?”The scientist says “Mostly empty space.”The astronaut says “Half full of atmosphere”The engineer says “The container is twice as big as it needs to be.”

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  15. Packrat
    Packratjohn Premium Member over 12 years ago

    “I Drink, Therefore I Am”

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    tigre1  over 12 years ago

    A serious pessimist doesn’t like beer at all, and makes claims he can’t possibly know the truth of…like, what camel pee tastes like…wait, maybe he really DOES know and can make the comparison…strange field of expertise. Knowing THAT would make anyone a pessimist, I suppose. A clear example of where ‘ignorance is bliss’…

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    WaitingMan  over 12 years ago

    “Someone stole my glass.” Charlie Brown

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    dfowensby  over 12 years ago

    probably why the bar is otherwise empty. Shift Colors, Underway!

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    PShaw0423  over 12 years ago

    Beer is an acquired taste, it’s true. (So is coffee, BTW.) But once you get accustomed to it and learn to appreciate it for what it is, oh my! In its time and place, it’s the best.

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    Paul Go Premium Member over 12 years ago

    I see it as Jerk Drinking

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    UM5  over 12 years ago

    My Physics 101 professor would see 8 oz of beer in a 16 oz glass…..

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  22. Captain smokeblower
    poppacapsmokeblower  over 12 years ago

    It’s half full if it’s being filled and half empty if you’re drinking it.

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    Potrzebie  over 12 years ago

    Did I already miss out on the “watered-down” drink jokes?

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    ZydecoBear  over 12 years ago

    On Earth the glass is always full.

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  25. Alien priestsm
    EDinWAState  over 12 years ago

    If it takes three guys three days to dig three holes, how long does it take for one guy to dig one half hole?

    Careful… we’re not talking beer mugs here.

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    prrdh  over 12 years ago

    The late economics Nobelist Merton Miller used to say that as a rule he had no use for government regulations but would make an exception for the Reinheitsgebot, which declared that beer (bier, actually…aka liquid bread) was the product of malted barley, water, yeast, and hops, and nothing but. He then went on to tell of someone who sent a sample of American “beer” to a lab and asked them to identify it, only to be told, “Your horse has diabetes”.

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    Call me Ishmael  over 12 years ago

    @prrdh“Hopfen und MalzGott erhalt’s!”

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    Joseph Krois  over 12 years ago

    I drink therefore I am… an @$$hole!

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    ckloth  over 12 years ago

    Is this a philosopher who thinks he’s a psychologist or a psychologist who thinks he’s a philosopher?

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  30. Clouseau
    el8  over 12 years ago

    The optimist says “The glass is half full.”The pessimist says “The glass is half empty.”The republican says “Now I’ll take the other half.”

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    0tdog  over 12 years ago

    technically, the glass is always full. 50% water, 50% air.

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