Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 07, 2015
September 06, 2015
September 08, 2015
Transcript:
Rat: Look at me, Goat... I've become a judge. It's always been a life-long dream of mine. Goat: Good for you, Rat. That's a critical role in our system of due process. What made you want to do it? Rat: They give you a hammer to hit idiots. Goat: That's not what that's for. Rat: Okay, you're first.
As for the gavel, it could be worse. Judge Roy Bean supposedly used a revolver as a gavel. He had order in the court OR ELSE. And he may have been the judge most similar to Rat. Not the worst one – that would be the juvenile court judge that sentenced children to excessive terms in private jails – which the judge profited from. I don’t recall Rat ever sinking that low.
If it was possible, research labs would use lawyers instead of rats. No one worries about mistreatment of lawyers, and there are things rats won’t do.