Pickles by Brian Crane for May 01, 2016

Women’s clothing is like women themselves… men just can’t figure them out…

Even I, a guy, am a little squeamish when handling women’s underclothes when working at the donation-recieving station.

Yeah, or something. Anything but this.

Wifey says, “♫♪ Hon, will you take my clothes out of the dryer ♪♫?” In order to score some points, I figured I’d fold them, too. Those things defy logic.

A real man knows you fold them to gain “points”…..but you do a lousy job so that you’re not asked again. Earl must realize points are no longer useful.

I remember Andy Rooney saying he couldn’t understand how he could wear a size 8 hat and a size 16 shirt. “I ought to be able to pull mt shirt over my head without removing my hat”

Opal’s Off the shoulder, boulder holder…

Some things, God never meant for men to understand. A lot of things, actually.

I have never been able to understand why my wife carefully folds my boxer shorts when she takes them out of the dryer.

When it comes to bras, just stack-em and rack-em.

Opal’s double barreled slingshot

I have actually folded laundry, it is never up to established standards, so….!

I wear sports bras.

The regular bras are uncomfortable for me. But I hate underwear and would never wear it if I had a choice.

I don’t give a (beep) what other people think.

xxx

The sizes today are NOT the sizes they were years ago.

Quitter.(Not that I blame him. How does one “fold” a conical or hemispherical object?)

Other items of clothing have sizing systems that are obscure and weird, but at least there is an explanation for them. Men’s hats are the diameter in inches of the circular form used to make them, while women’s hats are the circumference (also in inches) of the headband measurement.

Shoes are measured in “barleycorns”, an otherwise obscure unit that comes three to the inch, and the count starts at a non-zero length, but at least there’s a system.

Figuring the size of a ring requires considerable algebra, but the formula is published and relates directly to the inside circumference in millimeters.

Most items are the number of inches in some measurement of the garment (although I’m still working out why 46-inch-waist jeans fit me comfortably while I can’t even make a 46-inch belt meet itself around the same waist.

But women’s dress sizes? It’s like they tossed a bunch of numbers into a bucket and drew them out at random. Sometimes I’m surprised they managed to confine it to numbers instead of having sizes like 2, 4, J, Yellow, Czechoslovakia and Walnut. (You may think that’s silly, but consider how versions of Windows have been numbered: 3, 95, 98, NT, 2000, Me, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10?)

I still fold my socks and underwear..( and they’re not boxers ).

Just toss your stuff in random drawers without “folding” (what is that anyway?)… and you’re done!

Clothesindustri is confusing.Here there are numbers I dont have a clue where they come from. (European clothes.) Adult women usually somewhere between 36 to 48. Aaand in some shops Im having one number and in next Im two sizes different.