Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for January 22, 2024

Transcript:

richard's poor almanac by richard thompson largest house discovered an expedition made up of physicists, architects and real estate agents has discovered what is possibly the largest single-family house in america. the house sits on a quiet residential street in arlington, va., though its chimney occupies alexandria airspace and a basement utility room may extend as far north as hyattsville, md. just who lives in the house is not yet clear, according to team leader bob dingnagian, "we knocked on the door, but they didn't hear us. we're going back next week with an air horn in hopes the sound will reach whoever's inside." people living close to the house are describing phenomena such as high winds, fog, st. elmo's fire, and months without sunlight. some believe that, because of its mass, the house has its own grav-itational field which attracts lawn furniture, pets & small children. physicists on the expedition scoff at this, though confess they are perplex-ed by how such a large house came to stand in such a tiny plot. "it was built on land previ-ously occupied by an old bungalow," dingnagian said, "it's quite a feat of engineering, of course, they had to give up a good bit of the yard." bob dingnagian points our window in house's east face. front yard (actual size).