Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for March 15, 2022

WARNING: Tonight’s joke is political in nature. Three Jews are sitting on a park bench. The first Jew says, “Oy.”The second Jew says, “Oy, vey.”And the third Jew says, “If you guys are gonna talk politics, I’m outta here!”Good night, Mrs. Calabash…

How much Indonesian gold is there in that river?

Will a sentence with lower case "i"s and " j"s titelate you?

I don’t get tattoos, but they show up in a lot of jokes. Here’s one:

I don’t know why employers don’t like neck tattoos.

It shows you can sit in one spot for hours while tiny needles are jabbed into your skin, which is what every meeting I’ve ever been in feels like.

Stay tuned. More to follow.

Here’s another:

Research shows that facial tattoos completely eliminate certain forms of anxiety. For example, you’ll never need to worry about finding a job.

One more left to come.

A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, tattoos and piercings.

The boy leaves and the girl’s mom remarks, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”

*“Oh, come on Mom! If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 300 hours of community service?”

Until next time.

Ah, just like in that old cartoon, The Mysterious Cities Of Gold.

Here is a YouTube video with 48 brilliant words of things you didn’t have names for example the “X” design of 5 spots on a dice is called a Quincy. That’s a useful word for your next game of Scrabble. Watch the video here ☺ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xJQyj8dSCg

Two cannibals were preparing a lovely wedding cake for their friends. The wife sighed. “This guy’s got so many tattoos, I can’t even use my icing to cover them all.” “On the other hand, he’s got a lot of piercings—all over!” replied the husband. “Is that a good thing?” she asked. “Sure! When they eat this cake, everybody gets a prize!”

oy…..

Things seem rather slow. Here’s one more tattoo joke to move things along.

My wife had some tattoos done on her posterior. She said to the tattooist I would like a Butterfly on each cheek.

Tattooist says, sorry I can’t do Butterflies, but I can do Bee’s though.

So my wife said okay they are nice as well. She came home, dropped her pants turned round and bent over to show me.

I said “who the heck is BOB?”

Until next time.

What a coincidence. 864 is the number exact number of times Mark Amoia has experienced a blind date walking out right after seeing him….

You can have the island of gold. I’ll take an island of Lithium!

So Mark has a tattoo fetish plus he’s a liar. Interesting combination. I’ll bet he loves that.

Take care, may gold, camera, and other pawned items specialist Chumlee “He’s Not My Dad But I Still Listen To His Lame Jokes” Russord be with you, and gesundheit.

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. “Have you ever done anything of particular merit?”, St. Peter asked.

“Well, I can think of one thing,’ the cowboy offered. “On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen. So, I walked up to the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, ‘Now, back off or I’ll kick the s#!t out of all of you!”

St Peter was impressed, “When did this happen?”

“Couple of minutes ago.”

Tittle, the small dot over the i and j, comes from the Latin meaning tiny tit.

Not a mark on Mark!

Looks like Mark is facing his fears….

Mark is the guy every parent wants their daughter to bring home to dinner.