Considering that 67% of the land is above the Equator and that Antartica is a big chunk of the land below the Equator, having 90% of the population above the Equator is not unreasonable.
Gambling was still illegal in the small town where the priest, the minister, and the rabbi held their weekly poker games. One night (a week or so after they were surprised while skinnydipping) they were raided, and the constable said, “I’m astonished – the priest of my parish gambling!”
“I wasn’t gambling, Constable,” the priest lied, knowing he could confess and be absolved.
“What about you, Preacher? Were you gambling?”
“Of course not, Constable,” the minister answered, knowing Jesus forgave sins such as lying.
“And what about you, Rabbi? You were gambling, weren’t you?”
This story probably isn’t suitable to tell on Sunday but, I probably will forget it before Monday! The Reverend Deuteronomy Skaggs rides a bicycle around the neighborhood . It’s his only mode of transportation. Lately, though, the brothers noticed that he was walking instead of riding. They approached him and said "What happened to your bike, Rev? He said " It breaks my heart but, I think somebody in the congregation done stole it. “Man that ain’t good!” “I know dat’s right says the Rev.” “I got an idea says one of the bros, Next Sunday why don’t you give your sermon on the Ten Commandments and when you gets to the part about Thou shalt not steal, slow down and give the congregation that look of yours and you might just get your bicycle back!” “I’m gonna do just dat says the Rev!” In a couple of weeks he’s riding his bike around the hood again! The same guys say “Hey Rev, I see you got your bicycle back.” “Did you do what we said?” The right reverend says “I sure did but when I got to the part about Thou shalt not commit adultery……..I remembered where I left it!” Hey, he was just tending to the flock!
Improving on the Pompeii robot, some Japanese inventors have finally invented a robot that catches thieves. They decided to test it and put the robot in Belgium. In the first day it caught 1000 thieves.
Then they put it in America. In the first day it caught 2000 thieves.
Then they put it in Russia. In the first hour, someone stole the robot.
The upper hand’s thumb is about to fall off. It’s creepy that Mr. Powell painted his hand in that condition instead of calling 911. Now he is thumbless
The way things are going, it’s gonna be that 90% of the people left alive are going to be living in the Southern Hemisphere, the Coriolis effect will keep the fallout from reaching there.
I’m wondering if that genius Socialist Democrat US Congressman from Georgia is afraid that the planet will tip over from that 90% of people living north of the Equator…
If anyone finds this offensive, let me know and I’ll delete it.
Old man Finklestein is dying. He was diagnosed with cancer a month ago, and had told no one but his dear wife, Sadie.
It is a week before the doctors told him he would kick the bucket, and he had straightened out his will and finances, so he decided to tell his best friend, Mr. Ginsberg.
When Mr. Ginsberg received the news, he was shocked. “Jake,” he says. “You always seemed so healthy! Oy vey! Why do bad things happen to good people!”
“I don’t know, Moishe, but I have everything in order for my passing. I’ve consulted my Rabbi and said my prayers, and seen my accountant to know that Sadie will been taken care of after I’m gone. Is there anything you would like to do before I. . .go?”
Mr. Ginsberg thinks, and decides that he just wants to go for a walk with his oldest friend. They walk through the park, and eventually have nothing left to discuss.
Mr. Ginsberg, with a heavy heart, has to go home. He says goodbye to his dear friend Jake, and gives one last look behind him as they walk away.
Much to his surprise, he sees old Mr. Finklestein going in to the church across the street! He runs over as fast as his old bones can carry him, and grips Mr. Finklestein by the elbow.
“Jake! What are you doing? You just said you had consulted your Rabbi for guidance, not a priest! You were always the most religious member of the Temple I had known, no less!” Mr. Ginsberg is obviously upset.
“That’s just it, Moishe, I’m converting.”
“Why on Earth?”
“I only have a week to live, maybe less, Moishe old friend, and I’ve been doing some thinking. I figure, better one of them kick the bucket than one of us.”
David_the_CAD over 2 years ago
I guess only 10 percent of the population wants to stand on their heads all the time.
monkeysky over 2 years ago
Russel’s work is pretty interesting to see in photos, but I can’t find anything online about the Magbys.
https://www.boredpanda.com/painting-hand-portraits-stamp-school-teacher-russell-powell/
Templo S.U.D. over 2 years ago
Just curious, but what are the respective percentages of the populations of southern hemisphere South America and Africa?
Bilan over 2 years ago
Considering that 67% of the land is above the Equator and that Antartica is a big chunk of the land below the Equator, having 90% of the population above the Equator is not unreasonable.
Bilan over 2 years ago
Those doglike robots use Lidar to map out buildings and passages.
eromlig over 2 years ago
Gambling was still illegal in the small town where the priest, the minister, and the rabbi held their weekly poker games. One night (a week or so after they were surprised while skinnydipping) they were raided, and the constable said, “I’m astonished – the priest of my parish gambling!”
“I wasn’t gambling, Constable,” the priest lied, knowing he could confess and be absolved.
“What about you, Preacher? Were you gambling?”
“Of course not, Constable,” the minister answered, knowing Jesus forgave sins such as lying.
“And what about you, Rabbi? You were gambling, weren’t you?”
The Rabbi answered, “With whom?”
Huckleberry Hiroshima over 2 years ago
“But all I said was ‘waddaya say you and me go to my place and look at my etchings’ and she hand stamped my face real hard, officer.”
Take care, may robotic flea Siphonaptera “Build A Better Dog And We Will Be There” Itchord be with you, and gesundheit.
dv1093 over 2 years ago
OK, now that earth population fact is really interesting. My biggest surprise is that I didn’t know there were so few people in Australia.
joefearsnothing over 2 years ago
This story probably isn’t suitable to tell on Sunday but, I probably will forget it before Monday! The Reverend Deuteronomy Skaggs rides a bicycle around the neighborhood . It’s his only mode of transportation. Lately, though, the brothers noticed that he was walking instead of riding. They approached him and said "What happened to your bike, Rev? He said " It breaks my heart but, I think somebody in the congregation done stole it. “Man that ain’t good!” “I know dat’s right says the Rev.” “I got an idea says one of the bros, Next Sunday why don’t you give your sermon on the Ten Commandments and when you gets to the part about Thou shalt not steal, slow down and give the congregation that look of yours and you might just get your bicycle back!” “I’m gonna do just dat says the Rev!” In a couple of weeks he’s riding his bike around the hood again! The same guys say “Hey Rev, I see you got your bicycle back.” “Did you do what we said?” The right reverend says “I sure did but when I got to the part about Thou shalt not commit adultery……..I remembered where I left it!” Hey, he was just tending to the flock!
cactusbob333 over 2 years ago
Hand stamping, is it. And I thought the guy had his genitals tattooed.
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
Improving on the Pompeii robot, some Japanese inventors have finally invented a robot that catches thieves. They decided to test it and put the robot in Belgium. In the first day it caught 1000 thieves.
Then they put it in America. In the first day it caught 2000 thieves.
Then they put it in Russia. In the first hour, someone stole the robot.
Until next time.
JoshHere over 2 years ago
The upper hand’s thumb is about to fall off. It’s creepy that Mr. Powell painted his hand in that condition instead of calling 911. Now he is thumbless
FassEddie over 2 years ago
A woman says to her lawyer “I want to divorce my husband.”
‟On what grounds?”
‟Grounds? We have a couple of acres outside the town, but it does have a big lawn and some fruit trees so it’s not like empty ground."
‟No, that’s not what I meant. Do you have a grudge?”
‟Yes, we have a 2 car garage but only one car so we use the rest for storage. Why?"
The lawyer losing his patience, says, "Does he beat you up?”
‟No, I’m up by 6:30. He does not get up until after I leave for work.”
‟WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?”
‟We just can’t seem to communicate.”
Space_cat over 2 years ago
The way things are going, it’s gonna be that 90% of the people left alive are going to be living in the Southern Hemisphere, the Coriolis effect will keep the fallout from reaching there.
oakie817 over 2 years ago
so he makes turkeys with faces
Jaime Jean M over 2 years ago
90% of the population? Wow! Now THAT’s a real Believe it or Not! fact. Stunts by modern artists and tales from the animal kingdom are not.
stamps over 2 years ago
How in the world do you taxidermify bugs?
charliefarmrhere over 2 years ago
Does that make the Northern Hemisphere top heavy & in danger of tipping over from all of the people weight?
heathcliff2 over 2 years ago
Interesting tactic. I would say requires much skill and talent.
Stephen Gilberg over 2 years ago
That’s why we call it north rather than south: It makes the majority feel better, in a shallow way.
edstiles over 2 years ago
I’m wondering if that genius Socialist Democrat US Congressman from Georgia is afraid that the planet will tip over from that 90% of people living north of the Equator…
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
If anyone finds this offensive, let me know and I’ll delete it.
Old man Finklestein is dying. He was diagnosed with cancer a month ago, and had told no one but his dear wife, Sadie.
It is a week before the doctors told him he would kick the bucket, and he had straightened out his will and finances, so he decided to tell his best friend, Mr. Ginsberg.
When Mr. Ginsberg received the news, he was shocked. “Jake,” he says. “You always seemed so healthy! Oy vey! Why do bad things happen to good people!”
“I don’t know, Moishe, but I have everything in order for my passing. I’ve consulted my Rabbi and said my prayers, and seen my accountant to know that Sadie will been taken care of after I’m gone. Is there anything you would like to do before I. . .go?”
Mr. Ginsberg thinks, and decides that he just wants to go for a walk with his oldest friend. They walk through the park, and eventually have nothing left to discuss.
Mr. Ginsberg, with a heavy heart, has to go home. He says goodbye to his dear friend Jake, and gives one last look behind him as they walk away.
Much to his surprise, he sees old Mr. Finklestein going in to the church across the street! He runs over as fast as his old bones can carry him, and grips Mr. Finklestein by the elbow.
“Jake! What are you doing? You just said you had consulted your Rabbi for guidance, not a priest! You were always the most religious member of the Temple I had known, no less!” Mr. Ginsberg is obviously upset.
“That’s just it, Moishe, I’m converting.”
“Why on Earth?”
“I only have a week to live, maybe less, Moishe old friend, and I’ve been doing some thinking. I figure, better one of them kick the bucket than one of us.”
Until next time.
Caeruleancentaur over 2 years ago
About that 90%: maybe that’s because most of the land is in the northern hemisphere.
fandamovt over 2 years ago
A fascinating site: https://brilliantmaps.com/human-hemisphere/