An environmentalist was giving a speech and told his audience that if we continue on our present course all life on earth will be gone in 50 years.
A member of the audience jumped to his feet and cried out in panic, “What? What did you say?!”
The environmentalist solemnly repeated, “I said if we continue the way we are now going, that every man, woman, and child on earth will be gone in fifty years.”
The man sat down in relief and said, “Oh, thank God. I thought you said fifteen years.”
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. Or that’s well rum.
Take care, may the singing half of Martin and Lewis Dean “Memories Are Made Of Nerve End Ganglia And Brain Synapses If You’re Lucky” Martinord be with you, and gesundheit.
The following seems to be on topic, though I’m pretty sure it’s been posted before:
A flat-Earther dies and goes to heaven, and is met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
“You’ve lived your life free from sin and because of this, we welcome you into heaven my child” says Saint Peter.
The flat-Earther breathes a sigh of relief and starts to make his way through the gates of heaven. Before he is about to enter he turns to Saint Peter and asks,“I’ve got to know, is the earth flat or round?”
Saint Peter laughs and responds,“It’s round I’m afraid my child."
A look of shock comes over the flat-Earther’s face, then the look of realisation.
I don’t know if this is true or not (I’d guess not), but it’s funny.
In 1969, in the months leading up to the Moon landing, the Apollo 11 astronauts trained in a remote moon-like desert in the western United States. One day as they were training, the astronauts came across an old Native American.
‘What are you doing here?’ the old man asked.
‘We are here as a part of a research expedition that will very soon travel to explore the Moon!’
‘The Moon?! Hmm… could you then do me a favor?’
‘What do you want?’
‘Well, the people of my tribe believe that holy spirits live on the Moon. I was wondering if you could pass an important message to them from my people.’
‘What’s the message?’
The man uttered something in his tribal language, and then asked the astronauts to repeat it again and again until they had memorized it correctly.
‘What does it mean?’ asked the astronauts.
‘Oh, I cannot tell you. It’s a secret that only our tribe and the moon spirits are allowed to know.’
The astronauts were intrigued with the secret message, so when they returned to their base they searched and searched until they finally found one Native American who could speak the old man’s tribal language and translate the message.
When they repeated the message they had memorized, the translator started to laugh his as* off.
‘Why are you laughing man, what does the message say?’
’It says – Don’t believe a single word these people are telling you. They have come to steal your lands.’
Planet Earth has been hit by a few asteroids that probably caused it to ring like a bell, like the one that wiped out the dinosaurs. Maybe the pulsing is the remnant of the vibrations caused by such an asteroid.
And i just want to say boy is the artist exaggerating the moon’s lemon shape. The Earth, according Asimov, is slightly pear-shaped. Now I have to look up this business about the pulse that goes through the world every 26 seconds. It might be caused by moms getting mad at their sons, I dunno.
Earth is the same as the moon. In fact, all planets are.If you were able to stand on/in the water at the poles and the equator, at the same distance from the earth’s centre, you would be on the surface at the poles and considerably under water at the equator. Badly put, but I hope you get what I mean
SpaceBuckaroo over 2 years ago
The moon looks round to me.
David_the_CAD over 2 years ago
The pulsating is the heart beat of the world.
Start treating your mother (Mother Earth) better.
Templo S.U.D. over 2 years ago
so has Tom ever caught Jerry? how long they’ve been in orbit anyway?
kingdiamond69 over 2 years ago
Sure does not look lemon shaped in the night sky?
Bilan over 2 years ago
No planet or moon is perfectly spherical.
Binky over 2 years ago
It pulses every 26 seconds because of all the crap humans do to it… IMO
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
An environmentalist was giving a speech and told his audience that if we continue on our present course all life on earth will be gone in 50 years.
A member of the audience jumped to his feet and cried out in panic, “What? What did you say?!”
The environmentalist solemnly repeated, “I said if we continue the way we are now going, that every man, woman, and child on earth will be gone in fifty years.”
The man sat down in relief and said, “Oh, thank God. I thought you said fifteen years.”
Until next time.
Shawn Black Premium Member over 2 years ago
the pulsating is coming from the people who drive around in their cars with the bass turned up to max on the radio……
therese_callahan2002 over 2 years ago
Oddly, I don’t feel the Earth move under my feet, or even see the sky tumbling down.
jimchronister2016 over 2 years ago
This is Great Steve, lets have some more! And have a great day, Jim
Huckleberry Hiroshima over 2 years ago
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. Or that’s well rum.
Take care, may the singing half of Martin and Lewis Dean “Memories Are Made Of Nerve End Ganglia And Brain Synapses If You’re Lucky” Martinord be with you, and gesundheit.
JaneCl over 2 years ago
Rearrange the letters in EARTH and you’ll get HEART.
poppacapsmokeblower over 2 years ago
So the moon is lemon shaped, the Earth is pear shaped, and we’re nuts. We live in a giant fruit salad. Beware, the end time Jello mold is coming.
e.groves over 2 years ago
I had to use my phone’s GPS yesterday and it alerted me to a speed trap ahead. I didn’t know they did that.
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
The following seems to be on topic, though I’m pretty sure it’s been posted before:
A flat-Earther dies and goes to heaven, and is met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
“You’ve lived your life free from sin and because of this, we welcome you into heaven my child” says Saint Peter.
The flat-Earther breathes a sigh of relief and starts to make his way through the gates of heaven. Before he is about to enter he turns to Saint Peter and asks,“I’ve got to know, is the earth flat or round?”
Saint Peter laughs and responds,“It’s round I’m afraid my child."
A look of shock comes over the flat-Earther’s face, then the look of realisation.
“Huh, I see.” says the flat-Earther.
“This conspiracy goes higher than I thought.”
Until next time.
Snuffles [Previously Helikitty] over 2 years ago
Why does Tom wear gloves?
magicfever495 over 2 years ago
From Emo Phillips
I told my mom she needed to keep her hands out of my drawers.
She ask me why, I told her because it tickles.
WCraft Premium Member over 2 years ago
So, every 26 seconds someone, on an island, needs to enter the code: 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42 – to keep the earth from exploding?
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
I don’t know if this is true or not (I’d guess not), but it’s funny.
In 1969, in the months leading up to the Moon landing, the Apollo 11 astronauts trained in a remote moon-like desert in the western United States. One day as they were training, the astronauts came across an old Native American.
‘What are you doing here?’ the old man asked.
‘We are here as a part of a research expedition that will very soon travel to explore the Moon!’
‘The Moon?! Hmm… could you then do me a favor?’
‘What do you want?’
‘Well, the people of my tribe believe that holy spirits live on the Moon. I was wondering if you could pass an important message to them from my people.’
‘What’s the message?’
The man uttered something in his tribal language, and then asked the astronauts to repeat it again and again until they had memorized it correctly.
‘What does it mean?’ asked the astronauts.
‘Oh, I cannot tell you. It’s a secret that only our tribe and the moon spirits are allowed to know.’
The astronauts were intrigued with the secret message, so when they returned to their base they searched and searched until they finally found one Native American who could speak the old man’s tribal language and translate the message.
When they repeated the message they had memorized, the translator started to laugh his as* off.
‘Why are you laughing man, what does the message say?’
’It says – Don’t believe a single word these people are telling you. They have come to steal your lands.’
Until next time.
watcheratthewell over 2 years ago
Pulses at what frequency?
Charlie Fogwhistle over 2 years ago
Planet Earth has been hit by a few asteroids that probably caused it to ring like a bell, like the one that wiped out the dinosaurs. Maybe the pulsing is the remnant of the vibrations caused by such an asteroid.
PPMKS over 2 years ago
The earth pulsates because every object that has mass and weight no matter how small or large have a resonant frequency.
RonBerg13 Premium Member over 2 years ago
That’s easy.
The Earth is actually one of many Galactic Beacons used by interGalactic travelers to calculate their location within the Galaxy.
The Earth was created billions of years ago by alien engineers, who placed a pulsating mechanism deep with the Earth’s core.
There are many, many worlds throughout the Galaxy that have these pulsating mechanisms.
The initial strength, length, and amplitude of the pulse is the guide to were you are within the Galaxy.
There is a Galactic pulse manual that can be used to triangulate where you are by the length, amplitude, and strength of the pulse.
The pulse’s initial strength decreases by distance from the source.
The manual shows position for your intergalactic craft by the detected signal strength, along with the length and amplitude of the pulse.
Pretty neat, huh?
oish over 2 years ago
Now I’m craving a lemon moon pie
Caeruleancentaur over 2 years ago
That looks like more than a “slight” bulge to me.
JohnShirley1 over 2 years ago
And i just want to say boy is the artist exaggerating the moon’s lemon shape. The Earth, according Asimov, is slightly pear-shaped. Now I have to look up this business about the pulse that goes through the world every 26 seconds. It might be caused by moms getting mad at their sons, I dunno.
"Doon the Watter" on the Waverley over 2 years ago
Several plausible explanations can be found for Earth’s 26-second pulsation. Among them is the cover-up to a decades old murder:
https://xkcd.com/2344/
(if for some reason it doesn’t show search: xkcd + 26-second pulse)
azardoz over 2 years ago
All Planet Sounds From Space (In our Solar System)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQL53eQ0cNA
marc rossi Premium Member over 2 years ago
I’d like to know why NASA spent a huge part of their budget on 2 satellites that chase each other.
aussie399 Premium Member about 2 years ago
Earth is the same as the moon. In fact, all planets are.If you were able to stand on/in the water at the poles and the equator, at the same distance from the earth’s centre, you would be on the surface at the poles and considerably under water at the equator. Badly put, but I hope you get what I mean