Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for January 04, 2019

Just saw a video yesterday where a guy made a full sized nutcracker completely out of wood.

Alex, a squirrel really doesn’t need a nutcracker. At least that’s how I’m reading it.

I can’t remember where I buried my nuts

“This guy keeps stealing my nuts!”

He’s been acting very nutty lately.

I had to think about that!

“Yeah, I started out as a male squirrel, and my wife and I got into an argument, so she used this contraption on me!”

It wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

After midnight, a squirrel looks enough like a rat king to the blockhead nutcracker that was trying to kill him. He was getting no sleep with the music and dancing toys.

It doesn’t crack nuts…or, because he’s a squirrel, he doesn’t need one.

“Well, I had invited my friend the “mouse king” over for a snack and this crazy nutcracker attacked him with a sword!"

he’s in a suite

I’d like to return this nutcracker for a bottle of vodka. Thank you my good man (hic).