The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for April 24, 2020

Ages are a hard thing for kids to figure out, especially when they think you rode a dinosaur to school.

Did you believe Gladys was 29? Or you though he was older.

I just tell my grandchildren I’m 100. They love that.

I’m old enough to know better, and too young to care.

Conversation between me and my 5th grade teacher, many years ago: “How old are you” – “a hundred and two.” Rhymes nicely.

“As old as my tongue and bit older than my teeth.”

Yet you bought that she was 29.

That’s just all the miles…

Smart answer, Brutus.

A long time ago, I discovered not to give my age. I look younger that I am, and am comfortable being around people of almost any age. However, I found out that people knowing my age has created problems. Younger people often question why they are staying around an “old fogey”, and older people can’t understand why I want to be around people as old as them. It was more of a problem when my first wife was six years older than me.

I am actually turning 70 soon, but for some reason I am so afraid of that number that I already think I am 71.

As a kid I always wondered why adults were amused that Jack Benny always said he was 39. I’m 39 myself by the way.

On my 29th birthday my mom said, “I guess I’ll have to pick another age now.”