The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for April 03, 2021

Quickly interrupt and hand the phone to dad…..

Asking someone how they are as a casual greeting is very American. Europeans find it to be rather odd.

As she starts her comments…..hand the phone to dad.

Whenever someone asks me, “How are you,” my standard answer is, “How much time do you have left in your busy day??” Remember that old saying – “If you can’t dazzle them with your brains, baffle them with your ……..!!”

/SMIRK/

I answer great even if I don’t. Then I say Can’t talk now, someone’s at the door.

Yeah, but what else would I talk about?

W: “I never see grandpa Gargle. Is he dead?”

B: “You’ve met grandma. He’s not dead. He’s hiding .”

I can give her some of my imaginative problems for some entertainment. :D

Don’t ask. Say ‘Gram, hope you feel better than you look’. Then quickly run for the door before she has a chance to pick up the nearest thing to throw at you. After a bit of thought, Gram will think how sweet you are for caring how she is feeling, but you don’t get stuck into a long conversation with TMI details.

Give ’em an inch …

In the case of the Born Loser it is sound advice.

Hah! My mom was Grammie to our kids and we all got her complete medical update. According to Mom she couldn’t get any sleep for the last 50 of her 93 years.

Ah, the proverbial duel of the diseases and injuries, especially with senior citizens. “En garde”…..

This reminds me of what I think is one of the funniest bits Jerry Lewis ever did, walking Mrs. Fuzzybee:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_jYtraV9ow

In general, the less said to Mother Gargle the better off you are.

Made that mistake about 25 years ago with a co-worker. Asked her how she was doing. After a 20 minute recitation of everything from bad back, hernia and inter_uterine cysts, I was able to extricate myself from the conversation. Lesson learned.

Louis Armstrong got it right:

I see friends shakin’ hands, saying ‘How do you do?’

They’re really sayin, ‘I love you’

What a wonderful world.

Once had an (unnamed) relative, that every time I called it was like going to an organ recital. This organ hurts, that organ hurts…

This reminds me of a Lockhorns strip from years ago. Leroy and Loretta come across this couple they know on the street. Loretta just happened to have some X-Rays with her and she and the other woman are discussing them off to the side. Meanwhile, Leroy says to the other man, “Loretta has never understood that ‘How are you?’ is just a form of greeting.”