The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for March 04, 2013

So where’s the guy making the threat?

(9-1-1 guy, before he hung up)Are you chiving me?

Another graduate from the Stephan Pastis School of Dialogue.

Is it St. David’s Day? That’s when every good Welshman takes a leek – and wears it in his hat!

On a scallion of onion to ten, the Vidalia has all others up against the Walla Walla. Shallot I go on?

Man Taking a Leek on a Tiled Wall for a Walkby James C. Christensenhttp://www.greenwichworkshop.com/images/gallery/images/Prints/Christensen/JC00370lg.jpg

Ah those were the days; we’d hear the music coming from the onion truck a block away. We’d ask mom for a quarter. My buddies and I would race down the street to meet the Onion man. I always had mine dipped in chocolate and rolled in crushed peanuts.

You mean TAKE A LEAK!

Spare me the loooong recipes. Keep your comments short and pithy.

Leeks are onions, and yes they have dirt in between the “layers”. And I rather enjoy the recipes, but that might be one ofthe differences between men and women.

It’s a Gocomics ordinance:Only Susan Sunshine is permitted to post loong comments.

I guess they already took all of his peas.

Maybe a link to the recipes would be better, but it doesn’t bother me.

Yes, which makes for a more balanced diet. You have not only the leeks, but the sandwiches there.

I have heard stranger 911 calls.Caller: Is this 911?911: Go ahead with your emergency.Caller: I am out of beer can the cops bring me some I don’t want to drive.911: Please don’t abuse the system do you have an emergency?Caller: Yeah, you stupid (bad language galore) I am out of beer.911: Please hold.Later time passesCaller: Hey there is some one at the door.911: Its your ride.Door is opened and we arrest the caller for 911 abuse.Caller to the Cops on the way to jail: Hey on the way to the jail can we stop to pick up some beers?True Police Stories. Happens more than once.

He was held up at pun point . . . ☻

Wild onions are better except for fajitas. Cut off the root and green under running water and freeze. Chopping while frozen prevents tears. Harvest when the “Slavic dome” appears. That prevents you from getting crow poison (white blossom) by mistake. Added benefit: it delays having to mow the yard for a month until harvest.

Famous (or perhaps infamous) start of a Julia Child recipe: “First, you take a leek…”

talk about homophones.