The Elderberries by Corey Pandolph and Phil Frank and Joe Troise for December 27, 2020

Transcript:

Man: 'Scuse me, sir...your neighbors not in. Could you sign for this? Boone: A...a...a...FedEx package? You want me, Calvin T. Boone, a highly decorated, 30-year veteran UPS driver, to accept a FedEx package? Man: Well...if it's not too much troub... Boone: You want me to use a...a FedEx pen?? Man: Please, sir...calm down... Boone: ...to touch a FedEx signature sheet with my ungloved hands?!!! Man: You know...I'll come back and maybe they'll be in tomorrow...