Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for November 30, 2012

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling The Origin of Species II On the Memetic Evolution of Lolcats, Or, The Preservation of Favoured Bytes In the Struggle for Lulz by Charles Darwin, M.A. Natural genetic selection Artificial genetic selection (domestication) Memetic selection LOL Fig. 1 Cats are the first organism to make the leap from genetic evolution to memetic. (See Fig. 1.) While genes replicate themselves physically within biological bodies, memes replicate themselves culturally within human brains and hard drives. (See Dawkins, R.) The feline shift to this new form of evolution has led to an explosion of remarkable new adaptations and species. WUN MOR CHEEZBURGER PLEEZ Fig. 2 The domestic cat's first jump to memetic evolution was made by Lolcats (Felis virtualus, or Felis virtualus audibalguffus), which gained the power of language, albeit with atrocious spelling (See Fig. 2) Lolcats' ecological niche appears to be North American living rooms, and its diet chiefly consists of "cheezburgers [sic]" and "noms [??]." The viral success of the Lolcat species spawned new adaptations that quickly took hold, although it is unknown how the memetic mutation that caused Breadcats (Felis virtualus panus) has any adaptive advantage whatsoever. (See Fig. 3.) I HAZ SLICE? Fig. 3 Lolcat offshoot speices began to invade new territories, such as ceilings (Felis virtualus masturbatus, Fig. 4) and footwear (Felis virtualus pedus, Fig. 5, &c. I SEE U IZ MY MEMETIC ADVANTAJ Fig. 4 OMG! A NEW NICHE! Fig. 5 Fig. 6 Equus ebookus Canis dawgus radus Cynomys dramaticus Other biological species have attempted to make the leap to memetic evolution (Fig. 6), but these short-lived forays, while spectacular, have been evolutionary dead ends. NEXT CHAPTER: LMFAOCATS