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The faithful followers of the Lord God tRUMP just know that He is leading them down the of right-wing righteousness and shall take them to the Promised Land of MEGA.
In the meantime, the rest of us will profit through the prayerful (and pitiful) intercessions on our behalf by Saint Rudy Guiliani and Blessed William Barr.
He praised the Turkish dictator /mass murderer all the while tweeting he wasnât watching the hearings but tweeted over 30 times that the witnesses heard things the wrong way.
Should be a best seller. All too many âChristiansâ of my acquaintance actually have a much stronger preference for the Old Testament than the New Testament (and if you think about it for a moment, that is really funny.) Testament #3 undoubtedly jives with their core beliefs beautifully.
Point of order. Wouldnât this be the 4th Testament? I know some Christians donât recognize it, but the Church of Latter Day Saintâs Book of Mormon is technically part III. âThe Return of the Jediâ if you will. Making Trumpâs- âThe Phantom Menaceâ.
On the day of the 1st impeachment hearings, I stumbled on âThe 700 Clubâ. They were spouting all this childish babel about the Democrats âbeing evilâ. Iâm not a religious person, but I do know heresy when I hear it. Pat Robertson must have never read Jesusâs statement âLove the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.â This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: âLove your neighbor as yourself.â All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.â Matthew 22:37-40 NIV. It seems that the members of âThe 700 Clubâ have not been âloving thy neighbor as thyselfâ the way they are demonizing Democrats for political gain.
So you are the Trump, Mr. Donald J. Trump.Prove to me that youâre divine, put those tax forms all online.Thatâs all you need do and weâll know that itâs true, come on you King of the News.
* * * *
If you strip awayThe myth from the manYou will see where we all soon will be
Donald, You never will believeThe things they say of youYou really do believeThis talk of God is you
But all the âgoodâ Youâve doneMight soon be swept awayBut you have always mattered moreThan all the things You say
* * * *
I asked him to say what had happenedHow it all began?I asked again, he never said a wordAs if he hadnât heard
And next, the room was full ofWild and angry menThey seemed to hate this manThey fell on him, and then disappeared again
Then I saw thousands of millionsCrying for this manâŚ
* * * *
You have to feel sorry for professional satirist these days. Trumpâs prolific self-ironic ways must have taken away so much of the creative fun.
I do hope that Ruben is involved in the Broadway Trump musical thatâs bound to emerge 6 years from now.
Kurtass over 5 years ago
Iâll take two. Corinthians that is.
Say What Nowâ˝ Premium Member over 5 years ago
Thatâs why the evangelicals like him so much. They are no different.
pam Miner over 5 years ago
This is spot on.
pam Miner over 5 years ago
It left out extortionist in chief.
pam Miner over 5 years ago
This is the things that makes him so disgusting. That and throwing the Environment into the worst possible situation.
Cpeckbourlioux over 5 years ago
Shouldnât that be âHis A$$-Holiness??
dadoctah over 5 years ago
I am so waiting for the morning I wake up to the news that the president was turned into a pillar of salt during the night.
wolfiiig over 5 years ago
Amen.
Zebrastripes over 5 years ago
He believes heâs the antichristâŚ.the mental midget that he isâŚ.
J Quest over 5 years ago
Not sure about that first miracle. Iâm betting that St. T-Rump took communion with many penicillin-laced sacraments.
Masterskrain over 5 years ago
This would be even funnier IF IT WASNâT THE EXACT WAY HIS MORONIC FOLLOWERS THINK!!!!
Nighthawks Premium Member over 5 years ago
how come I donât see any defenders of trump in the comments section all that much any more?
come on you guys! letâs hear your moronic arguments
Linguist over 5 years ago
The faithful followers of the Lord God tRUMP just know that He is leading them down the of right-wing righteousness and shall take them to the Promised Land of MEGA.
In the meantime, the rest of us will profit through the prayerful (and pitiful) intercessions on our behalf by Saint Rudy Guiliani and Blessed William Barr.
mitchkeos Premium Member over 5 years ago
Outstanding work by one of our best satirists.
NeoconMan over 5 years ago
Trump is the face of Evangelical Christianity.
PoodleGroomer over 5 years ago
Trump University would have been legitimate if it were Trump Bible University.
Vet Premium Member over 5 years ago
He praised the Turkish dictator /mass murderer all the while tweeting he wasnât watching the hearings but tweeted over 30 times that the witnesses heard things the wrong way.
Rev Phnk Ey over 5 years ago
Iâll bet this version has ellipses.
comixbomix over 5 years ago
Instead of Apostles, he has âco-conspiratorsââŚ(many of them, already indicted).
Alabama Al over 5 years ago
Should be a best seller. All too many âChristiansâ of my acquaintance actually have a much stronger preference for the Old Testament than the New Testament (and if you think about it for a moment, that is really funny.) Testament #3 undoubtedly jives with their core beliefs beautifully.
ArtieEl over 5 years ago
Point of order. Wouldnât this be the 4th Testament? I know some Christians donât recognize it, but the Church of Latter Day Saintâs Book of Mormon is technically part III. âThe Return of the Jediâ if you will. Making Trumpâs- âThe Phantom Menaceâ.
banjoAhhh! over 5 years ago
On the day of the 1st impeachment hearings, I stumbled on âThe 700 Clubâ. They were spouting all this childish babel about the Democrats âbeing evilâ. Iâm not a religious person, but I do know heresy when I hear it. Pat Robertson must have never read Jesusâs statement âLove the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.â This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: âLove your neighbor as yourself.â All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.â Matthew 22:37-40 NIV. It seems that the members of âThe 700 Clubâ have not been âloving thy neighbor as thyselfâ the way they are demonizing Democrats for political gain.
Subversive over 5 years ago
I never expected President Trump,
a specially selected human of legitimate election,
to rule eternally a sustainable omnipotent nation of unlimited supremacy.
Creating overabounding wealth and reacting decisively,
greatness readily expanding exceeding dire years,
leading instinctively always righteous.
While ever a King,
leadership overflows so everyone rises.
Godfreydaniel over 5 years ago
The biggest miracle of all is that Trumpâs hands were drawn three sizes too largeâŚâŚâŚâŚ
craigwestlake over 5 years ago
Somehow, crucifixion seems like the perfect ending to this storyâŚ
jpozenel over 5 years ago
Just in time for Christmas!
FrankSF Premium Member over 5 years ago
Shut up and take my money! (Said every Fox News viewer, trembling with ecstasy.)
ars731 over 5 years ago
No word if the Gospel of Trump is next to Two Corinthians in the Bible
Broacher over 5 years ago
Venice called. Wants to know if they can borrow that Sharpie.
Broacher over 5 years ago
Thought: if it was an available option, would Nero still have played his violin, or would he have just tweeted about it?
Broacher over 5 years ago
So you are the Trump, Mr. Donald J. Trump.Prove to me that youâre divine, put those tax forms all online.Thatâs all you need do and weâll know that itâs true, come on you King of the News.
* * * *If you strip awayThe myth from the manYou will see where we all soon will be
Donald, You never will believeThe things they say of youYou really do believeThis talk of God is you
But all the âgoodâ Youâve doneMight soon be swept awayBut you have always mattered moreThan all the things You say
* * * *I asked him to say what had happenedHow it all began?I asked again, he never said a wordAs if he hadnât heard
And next, the room was full ofWild and angry menThey seemed to hate this manThey fell on him, and then disappeared again
Then I saw thousands of millionsCrying for this manâŚ
* * * *You have to feel sorry for professional satirist these days. Trumpâs prolific self-ironic ways must have taken away so much of the creative fun.
I do hope that Ruben is involved in the Broadway Trump musical thatâs bound to emerge 6 years from now.
Amra Leo over 5 years ago
âYour bible just got TrumpedââŚmighty gorram funnyâŚ