Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for July 01, 2014

Yep! She’s blonde.

Along the line of.“Sit down, sir. Let Jessie rob the train.”

How do you change a blonde’s mind?

Blow in her ear.

A friend and I (both blonde) are doing a book on blondes, and how we’re not all that dumb. We also have a friend with dark hair – now he was such a blonde.

There’s carbon footprint and the dreaded spartan footprint

The problem with blonds is the bleach, it soaks into the brain from the hair follicles, not to mention the fumes. It’s not really genetic.

At least in the US, most blondes are bleached. The better blonde jokes are about the attitude or character trait that leads certain people to grossly alter their appearance through chemistry.

A blonde went into a bank, and asked to borrow $10000 for a week. “I’ll need some kind of collateral”, said the loan manager. “I can leave my Mercedes”, said the blonde. They signed the contract, the blonde took the $10000 and an attendant parked the car in the bank’s private lot.

A week later, the blonde returned, and paid the $10000 plus interest. “Here are the keys”, said the manager. “If you don’t mind my asking, you don’t look like someone who needs a loan for $10000. Why do you need it?” “Oh, I don’t”, said the blonde. “This is just the cheapest weekly parking rate in the city!”

Some blonde jokes are about being “dumb like a fox”.

They’re kinda hunky compared to Rodney.

With men muscled as those guys are I cannot blame her. Makes Rodney looks puny.

uh-huh….she’ll appreciate Rodney when they do horrible things to her…..after all, they are, muscles or not, barbarians.you know, rape-pillage-slay ….grand bunch of people

I’m pretty sure I know what’s on her mind.

King: This is madnessLeonitis: No this is…..SPARTA!!!!!King: Ok but can you not spit when you say that

The Spartans are smiling, must be a friendly visit. Let them in.

One of the many ironies of the Third Reich is thatnone of the bigwigs, with the exception of ReinhardHeydrich, looked like blond, blue-eyed AryanÜbermensch they were alway. on about. Hitler,Himmler and Goebbels were schmerpy littlebelches, Göring a fat slob belch, Hess a lantern-jawed loony belch. Another is, if there is such athhing as an aryan race, it consists of little brownmen like Gandhi…

One of the smartest women I worked with was a Blonde. She and I collaborated on a scheme to drive our general manager nuts, it almost worked. We had the guy so fired up I thought he’d have a stroke. Ah yes, the “good old days…”

Money was tight, the 300 Spartans had to share the one shield — today it was Leo’s turn to have it. The drawback was, whoever had it that day, had to be in the frontline.

Anyhoo, the way the song goes, the James Gang was holding up the train.One brave soul stood up and told them they could have their gold and money but to please leave their wimmin-folks alone.Whereupon, one of the aforementioned ladies advises the well-intended gentleman to, “Sit down, sir. Let Jesse rob the train.”Which is to say, let him do it his regular way, especially if it included turning his passionate attention toward her.

“I’m in love, I’m in lovewith Attila the Hun, Attila the Hun.He’ll Pillage a villageand kill everyone,but I still love Attila the Hun.”

— approximate, as sung by Ted Bessell to Marlo Thomas in “That Girl” TV series. (also heard in many 50s-60s TV comedy shows)

Lighten up and smile.