Adam@Home by Rob Harrell for November 09, 2024

seems you won’t be having anything this year

Was thinking hotdogs, but no better. How about scrambled eggs?

Hog wash

Will a vegan Thanksgiving arouse the Monstrous Poison Ivy??

Hogstra? This kid has a vivid imagination.

Carefull I think Hogzilla may be cooyrighted. (I’ve seen at least one comic book featuring Hogzilla.)

The first Thanksgiving was their last, wow.

So no meat this year. But then they’ll have to worry about Tofurah.

So maybe stick with the mashed potatoes and the cornbread.

Radioactive giant turkey, Hogstra, what else has the educational system failed to teach about the Pilgrims, a giant mutant pumpkin? … /s

Kind of a short short story. Where is the screaming? The mayhem? Where is the blood, gore, and guts?

And there was really NO turkey at the first Thanksgiving. And they didn’t wear tall hats with buckles on them. Did anyone even show up?

Think I missed a few pages of the story…

Chinese!

Again, Wow, dark!

Pilgrims were like herpes – despite turkeyzilla they kept coming back….

That’s why I am a Vegan.

I demand censorship. Only this once.

And don’t even think of enraging Cowabunga!

Does this take place on Roanoke Island?

best to play it safe and have tofurkey…

Turkey Kaiju Stuffing:

First gather 700,000,000 bread…

I’m sure the Hogfather would not be amused.

One of our most important holidays is Thanksgiving Day, known in France as le Jour de Merci Donnant.

Le Jour de Merci Donnant was first started by a group of Pilgrims (Pelerins) who fled from l’Angleterre before the McCarran Act to found a colony in the New World (le Nouveau Monde) where they could shoot Indians (les Peaux-Rouges) and eat turkey (dinde) to their hearts’ content.

They landed at a place called Plymouth (now a famous voiture Americaine ) in a wooden sailing ship called the Mayflower (or Fleur de Mai ) in 1620. But while the Pelerins were killing the dindes, the Peaux-Rouges were killing the Pelerins, and there were several hard winters ahead for both of them. The only way the Peaux-Rouges helped the Pelerins was when they taught them to grow corn (mais). The reason they did this was because they liked corn with their Pelerins.

In 1623, after another harsh year, the Pelerins’ crops were so good that they decided to have a celebration and give thanks because more mais was raised by the Pelerins than Pelerins were killed by Peaux-Rouges.

Every year on the Jour de Merci Donnant, parents tell their children an amusing story about the first celebration.

It concerns a brave capitaine named Miles Standish (known in France as Kilometres Deboutish) and a young, shy lieutenant named Jean Alden. Both of them were in love with a flower of Plymouth called Priscilla Mullens (no translation). The vieux capitaine said to the jeune lieutenant :

“Go to the damsel Priscilla ( allez tres vite chez Priscilla), the loveliest maiden of Plymouth ( la plus jolie demoiselle de Plymouth). Say that a blunt old captain, a man not of words but of action (un vieux Fanfan la Tulipe), offers his hand and his heart, the hand and heart of a soldier. Not in these words, you know, but this, in short, is my meaning.

“I am a maker of war (je suis un fabricant de la guerre) and not a maker of phrases. You, bred as a scholar (vous, qui tes pain comme un tudiant), can say it in elegant

Javelina the Horrible.

Just go vegan