Arlo and Janis by Jimmy Johnson for December 23, 2016
December 22, 2016
December 24, 2016
Transcript:
Janis: All right! I'm ready!
Janis: Tomorrow, I'm going to relax!
Janis: I'll sit by the fire with a book and a glass of wine and enjoy the quiet!
Janis: Arlo will be shopping all day!
Lemme get this straight. Janis has worked herself ragged for about a month and then relaxes on Christmas Eve. Arlo has relaxed for about a month and then shops on Christmas Eve.
I am a woman who hates shopping. I’ve moved to an area with no malls, however, and I do miss going there just to see the Christmas decorations and hear all the music and watch all the kids talking to Santa.
SOME hubbies are all done long ago. But Christmas eve shopping is a good excuse for the wise hubby to get out of the house. Besides, we may spot that spur of the moment, impulse gift. Like we see in the Victoria’s Secret window. Oh boy! I’d like to see her in THAT!!!
How to buy for a gift for a woman: When you buy for a woman, think bird. You buy something to preen her feathers: clothes, perfume, jewelry, day spa,.. . OR to feather her nest: new drapes, repaint a room, a new lamp… FINALLY, you have to thing to spend about 20% more than you first estimated! DO NOT buy for her like you would buy for a man; i.e., GADGETS. How many women really wanted “salad shooter” or the “combo hot dog cooker and bun warmer”? That’s guy stuff. Ladies. See my next post for buying for your man.
How to buy a gift for a man. When you buy for a man, thing ten year old boy; only more expensive.. If a ten year old boy would like it so will he. Boys collect things: sports items, guns, books,memorabilia; know his proclivities. Some gadget for his wheels; fitted floor mats are popular this year. Toys are a can’t-go-wrong choice; any remote control toy:miniature drones, race cars. Anything just a little crude or sexy. DO NOT buy clothes unless it has a sport team logo on it or a super hero. Clothes are a female thing.
Gifting trouble is that we but for our “other” like we buy for ourselves. Wives buy to make him more presentable. Hubbies buy time saving kitchen gadgets. Final hint: OBSERVE. What does our “other” complain about; around the house and while out? Usuallu there’s a gifting opportunity there.
Hilarious. It’s the opposite in most families I know, including mine. I get everything done as early as possible, and my wife scurries around at the last minute. I guess Mr. Johnson feels that wouldn’t have as much comic effect….
My husband and I no longer exchange gifts. I’ve already got my gift to me: a new tablet. He is still shopping for his: probably a new turntable. My parents decided one Christmas that they’d gotten enough “stuff” over the years so no one over 25 would get gifts anymore. Really cut down on the who gave/got the best gift grumbling.
Atheists don’t stress over decorating or shopping for any holiday. I got an 8-pack of water filters, she might get a bread maker when they’re on sale. The grandkids got gift cards. Sometimes we will do a traditional meal. This year we’re going to a Chinese restaurant.
[ We were married 32 years yesterday and Patsy didn’t get me a present AGAIN ! Me? No, I never buy special gifts, just along the way, as needed — if at all. ]
You got that right about immigrants and food. Most of the so called Chinese food was invented by immigrants from China in San Francisco, 1860-1910. Most Mexican food is similar: chile con carne, San Antonio, 1880s; the whole enchilada, Albuquerque, 1890s; tamales, no, Coronado reported them in Wichita tribal territory, but their use extended into what is now Mexico, probably Anazasi had them in 1000.
What makes this comic cool is that in this they seem to have reversed role….Arlo sounds like a normal man. Spend a lot of money and get it out of the way…..But I would go “shopping” looking for the perfect gifts…. You know, several nights near my favorite bar and hang for a few hours…Merry Christmas baby…..Oops, I think I just made a pun….
“Most of the so called Chinese food was invented by immigrants from China in San Francisco, 1860-1910. Most Mexican food is similar: chile con carne, San Antonio, 1880s; the whole enchilada, "
.
Not “so-called” just because they weren’t in their native lands at the time.
Varnes about 8 years ago
I wish I could have all my present shopping done by Halloween, but never do…
Schrodinger's Dog about 8 years ago
LOL, do all wives figure their husbands shop last minute?!
jarvisloop about 8 years ago
Lemme get this straight. Janis has worked herself ragged for about a month and then relaxes on Christmas Eve. Arlo has relaxed for about a month and then shops on Christmas Eve.
Yep. Game, set, match to Arlo.
Dani Rice about 8 years ago
I suddenly discovered I’d forgotten two gifts and went to Target last night at 9:30 PM. I figured I’d have the place to myself.
It was a zoo!
jarvisloop about 8 years ago
Dani and JastMe: Now, it’s time for me to go to River Valley Mall, walk a bit, and then begin my shopping. I’m actually a day early this year.
Flossie Mud Duck about 8 years ago
I am a woman who hates shopping. I’ve moved to an area with no malls, however, and I do miss going there just to see the Christmas decorations and hear all the music and watch all the kids talking to Santa.
Tyge about 8 years ago
SOME hubbies are all done long ago. But Christmas eve shopping is a good excuse for the wise hubby to get out of the house. Besides, we may spot that spur of the moment, impulse gift. Like we see in the Victoria’s Secret window. Oh boy! I’d like to see her in THAT!!!
david_42 about 8 years ago
Other than for perishables, I don’t go near a store between T-day and New Years.
Tyge about 8 years ago
How to buy for a gift for a woman: When you buy for a woman, think bird. You buy something to preen her feathers: clothes, perfume, jewelry, day spa,.. . OR to feather her nest: new drapes, repaint a room, a new lamp… FINALLY, you have to thing to spend about 20% more than you first estimated! DO NOT buy for her like you would buy for a man; i.e., GADGETS. How many women really wanted “salad shooter” or the “combo hot dog cooker and bun warmer”? That’s guy stuff. Ladies. See my next post for buying for your man.
Tyge about 8 years ago
How to buy a gift for a man. When you buy for a man, thing ten year old boy; only more expensive.. If a ten year old boy would like it so will he. Boys collect things: sports items, guns, books,memorabilia; know his proclivities. Some gadget for his wheels; fitted floor mats are popular this year. Toys are a can’t-go-wrong choice; any remote control toy:miniature drones, race cars. Anything just a little crude or sexy. DO NOT buy clothes unless it has a sport team logo on it or a super hero. Clothes are a female thing.
Tyge about 8 years ago
Gifting trouble is that we but for our “other” like we buy for ourselves. Wives buy to make him more presentable. Hubbies buy time saving kitchen gadgets. Final hint: OBSERVE. What does our “other” complain about; around the house and while out? Usuallu there’s a gifting opportunity there.
StratmanRon about 8 years ago
Hilarious. It’s the opposite in most families I know, including mine. I get everything done as early as possible, and my wife scurries around at the last minute. I guess Mr. Johnson feels that wouldn’t have as much comic effect….
Ina Tizzy about 8 years ago
My husband and I no longer exchange gifts. I’ve already got my gift to me: a new tablet. He is still shopping for his: probably a new turntable. My parents decided one Christmas that they’d gotten enough “stuff” over the years so no one over 25 would get gifts anymore. Really cut down on the who gave/got the best gift grumbling.
rcerinys701 about 8 years ago
Now I know what was meant by “Mombes and the Walking Dad”.
grainpaw about 8 years ago
Atheists don’t stress over decorating or shopping for any holiday. I got an 8-pack of water filters, she might get a bread maker when they’re on sale. The grandkids got gift cards. Sometimes we will do a traditional meal. This year we’re going to a Chinese restaurant.
David Huie Green LoveJoyAndPeace about 8 years ago
Know thyself.
Know thy spouse.
(Sounds like she just beat him by a day or two.)
.
[ We were married 32 years yesterday and Patsy didn’t get me a present AGAIN ! Me? No, I never buy special gifts, just along the way, as needed — if at all. ]
David Huie Green LoveJoyAndPeace about 8 years ago
(Patsy commented she made me oatmeal cookies.
They’re all gone, so I had already forgotten them.)
ARLOS DAD almost 8 years ago
Whew! Just finished my shopping!
hippogriff almost 8 years ago
DavidHuieGreen
You got that right about immigrants and food. Most of the so called Chinese food was invented by immigrants from China in San Francisco, 1860-1910. Most Mexican food is similar: chile con carne, San Antonio, 1880s; the whole enchilada, Albuquerque, 1890s; tamales, no, Coronado reported them in Wichita tribal territory, but their use extended into what is now Mexico, probably Anazasi had them in 1000.
Tyge almost 8 years ago
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Varnes almost 8 years ago
What makes this comic cool is that in this they seem to have reversed role….Arlo sounds like a normal man. Spend a lot of money and get it out of the way…..But I would go “shopping” looking for the perfect gifts…. You know, several nights near my favorite bar and hang for a few hours…Merry Christmas baby…..Oops, I think I just made a pun….
hippogriff almost 8 years ago
jarvisloop
You must remember, Mammon worship is the state religion.
David Huie Green LoveJoyAndPeace almost 8 years ago
hippogriff said,
DavidHuieGreen
“Most of the so called Chinese food was invented by immigrants from China in San Francisco, 1860-1910. Most Mexican food is similar: chile con carne, San Antonio, 1880s; the whole enchilada, "
.
Not “so-called” just because they weren’t in their native lands at the time.
America inspires innovation.
David eats the product of their innovations.
With GUSTO