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I just read an article in this Month’s Scientific American that coffee may be good for a certain kind of bacteria in your intestines that helps regulate digestion.
I work in a grocery store where the employees tend to be either under twenty-five or over fifty, without a lot of people in the middle. I’m part of the former group, while my coworker is part of the latter. She actually has a daughter around my age who works in our deli department.
One morning, I notice that my coworker is moving quite a bit slower than normal and keeps making faces like she’s in pain.
Me: “Are you feeling okay?”
Coworker: “Yeah, I just haven’t been feeling great lately.”
Me: “Oh, no. Did you catch the flu?”
Coworker: “No, I think it’s my heart, but I’ll be fine. I haven’t been to a doctor in fifteen years, and I’m not taking time off for that. Besides, I’ve already been working every day for the past three months.”
Me: “…I’m starting to understand why your daughter runs down here to make sure you’re okay every time management calls [code for an injury] over the loudspeaker.”
Somehow, my coworker got better without taking any time off to rest. I’m convinced that she is fueled entirely by spite.
World Record For Calmest Response To The Most Irritating Question
The most unpleasant interview I ever experienced was with a panel of three interviewers.
Chairman: “What are your plans if you become pregnant?”
I simply stared at him for a few seconds, shocked. Number one, asking that question is illegal in the UK (and in the USA, I believe), and two, it is profoundly sexist and offensive. I chose option three, to make a statement, as I didn’t expect to get the job and wasn’t interested in working for that company regardless.
Me: “I would likely call the Guinness World Records.”
Chairman: Looking confused “Why?”
Me: “I had a medically necessary hysterectomy when I was twenty-three. If I became pregnant, I’m sure Guinness World Records would be very interested in hearing from me.”
The human resources representative almost choked, while the third board member was on the verge of fainting as he struggled to hold back his laughter.
The interview ended shortly after that. Before the day was over, I received a formal apology from the company’s HR. I was also informed that the person who asked the question would not be permitted to interview applicants in the future.
I thanked them for their apology but told them that I would be looking for employment elsewhere. Considering how inappropriate the question was, and the fact that the HR representative did not shut the chairman down immediately when the question was asked, I felt the company and I would not be a good fit. The representative said they understood, and we hung up.
Me: Coffee GoComics then make breakfast, back to GoComics while having breakfast, nobody here but me, breakfast, OJ and Go Comics. All good. A telemarketer just tried my phone, I ignored it, no voicemail message, next time I will block the number. Phone numbers that do not leave messages get blocked, my rule.
seanfear about 14 hours ago
I did the first – waiting for someone to do the 2nd
FreyjaRN Premium Member about 14 hours ago
The second act is the important one.
rockyridge1977 about 13 hours ago
“Broken record”!!!
PraiseofFolly about 12 hours ago
“Donut give in to the disturbing urge to perturb me.”
Shirl Summ Premium Member about 10 hours ago
Good advice.
jmworacle about 9 hours ago
If only….
coffeemom88 about 8 hours ago
So I’ll manage 50% of that today!
jango about 7 hours ago
“Don’t ask me no questions; I won’t tell you no lies”
dflak about 7 hours ago
I just read an article in this Month’s Scientific American that coffee may be good for a certain kind of bacteria in your intestines that helps regulate digestion.
Yakety Sax about 6 hours ago
Spite, Determination, And Ibuprofen
I work in a grocery store where the employees tend to be either under twenty-five or over fifty, without a lot of people in the middle. I’m part of the former group, while my coworker is part of the latter. She actually has a daughter around my age who works in our deli department.
One morning, I notice that my coworker is moving quite a bit slower than normal and keeps making faces like she’s in pain.
Me: “Are you feeling okay?”
Coworker: “Yeah, I just haven’t been feeling great lately.”
Me: “Oh, no. Did you catch the flu?”
Coworker: “No, I think it’s my heart, but I’ll be fine. I haven’t been to a doctor in fifteen years, and I’m not taking time off for that. Besides, I’ve already been working every day for the past three months.”
Me: “…I’m starting to understand why your daughter runs down here to make sure you’re okay every time management calls [code for an injury] over the loudspeaker.”
Somehow, my coworker got better without taking any time off to rest. I’m convinced that she is fueled entirely by spite.
Yakety Sax about 6 hours ago
World Record For Calmest Response To The Most Irritating Question
The most unpleasant interview I ever experienced was with a panel of three interviewers.
Chairman: “What are your plans if you become pregnant?”
I simply stared at him for a few seconds, shocked. Number one, asking that question is illegal in the UK (and in the USA, I believe), and two, it is profoundly sexist and offensive. I chose option three, to make a statement, as I didn’t expect to get the job and wasn’t interested in working for that company regardless.
Me: “I would likely call the Guinness World Records.”
Chairman: Looking confused “Why?”
Me: “I had a medically necessary hysterectomy when I was twenty-three. If I became pregnant, I’m sure Guinness World Records would be very interested in hearing from me.”
The human resources representative almost choked, while the third board member was on the verge of fainting as he struggled to hold back his laughter.
The interview ended shortly after that. Before the day was over, I received a formal apology from the company’s HR. I was also informed that the person who asked the question would not be permitted to interview applicants in the future.
I thanked them for their apology but told them that I would be looking for employment elsewhere. Considering how inappropriate the question was, and the fact that the HR representative did not shut the chairman down immediately when the question was asked, I felt the company and I would not be a good fit. The representative said they understood, and we hung up.
Yakety Sax about 6 hours ago
Should Stick To One’s Guns
I work in a sporting goods store that sells guns and ammunition. A customer approaches me with a very obvious German accent.
Customer: “I would like to buy a gun.”
Me: “Can I see some ID?”
He shows me his German passport.
Me: “I need something to show me you’re a legal citizen or a resident.”
Customer: “I don’t have that. I am just on holiday.”
Me: “Then I’m sorry, I can’t sell you a gun.”
Customer: “Oh. I thought in America it was easy to get guns. It looks like you give them away in Happy Meals or something.”
Me: “They do in Texas.”
Customer: Eyes light up. “Really?!”
Me: “…no.”
Customer: Shoulders drop. “That was mean.”
Yakety Sax about 6 hours ago
Hopefully, We Can Find A Kitten Stuck In A Tree For Them!
I’m a manager at a diner, and an employee approaches me.
Employee: “Hey, boss, [Employee #2] went into the back closet, and now the lock is jammed, and he’s stuck.”
In the corner, two tables full of customers wearing matching shirts reading “[City] Fire Rescue” stand up.
Employee: “Never mind, the door just opened!”
The firefighters sigh and sit back down.
Customer: “Huh. I’ve never seen a door be intimidated open before.”
ladykat Premium Member about 6 hours ago
Coffee drunk – minding my own business now.
Daltongang Premium Member about 5 hours ago
Read it, learn it, follow it Aunty.
cuzinron47 about 4 hours ago
Reading the comics is our business.
Smeagol about 3 hours ago
Me: Coffee GoComics then make breakfast, back to GoComics while having breakfast, nobody here but me, breakfast, OJ and Go Comics. All good. A telemarketer just tried my phone, I ignored it, no voicemail message, next time I will block the number. Phone numbers that do not leave messages get blocked, my rule.
oakie9531 about 2 hours ago
if only