Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for March 19, 2025

Maybe The Narrator Is Just Shouting The Whole Thing?

I’m working in a library when one of our patrons approaches me.

Patron: “Can you please direct me to the large print audiobooks?”

That’s almost too true to be funny.

Service Worth Shouting About

Me: “Good morning, can I get [specialty drink]?”

Employee: a little panicked “I’m sorry miss, we are out of [important ingredient]…”

Me: “Oh… okay, let me look at the menu for a moment.”

(I step out of line while I look at the menu. A few minutes later I decide and join the end of the line.)

Employee: when I reach the front “Hi again, decided what you want?”

Me: “I’d love a hot chocolate.” jokingly “I assume you aren’t out of chocolate?”

Manager: “It’s on the house for not yelling at us. It’s a nice change.”

Nobody does it better.*

*Apologies to Carly Simon.

Many who know Aunty Acid “agree” with her — but they could just as easily (perhaps more accurately) say that she’s getting worse with age: worse at shouting, worse at listening, and worse at not giving a crap.

Oh, she will be ‘The Belle of the Ball’ in Assisted Living.

I’m don’t shout, I’m getting better at what and who I choose to listen too and definitely have learned to ignore so much of the crap going on

Two out of three ain’t bad Aunty, As for listening, well that one got away from you.

There is “better” in the “batter”!!!!

Same here, Aunty!

Keep saying that Aunty, and you will need to get better at swilling Metamucil