Bad Machinery by John Allison for January 28, 2022

Look on the bright side, Shauna: Onions don’t actually have bones and beaks.

Usually.

With the skin? That was savage!!!

Don’t get too close to that nose, Shauna! You don’t know where it’s been!

In for a penny, in for a pound…

Well, good enough for Lem at least, and that’s what matters for now.

Today’s installment, and yesterday’s, remind me of Father William:

“You are old,” said the youth, “and your jaws are too weak

For anything tougher than suet;

Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak—

Pray, how did you manage to do it?”

“In my youth,” said his father, “I took to the law,”

And argued each case with my wife;

And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,

Has lasted the rest of my life.”

(Except from “Father William,” by Lewis Carroll)

I like Shauna’s reaction. That’s exactly how I feel about nasty onions. They are okay of used sparingly as a seasoning and blended well… but not by themselves. I’ve seen people add big slices of raw onions to cheeseburgers. That’s the quickest way to ruin a perfectly good burger.

Geez, they all look wan and pale – that’s going to be some dull party.

Wow! Lottie is looking so pale here!

All your friends are no pod people or worse alien onions.