Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for February 20, 2025

he’s in the new government? I see…

Mildred and Rover are in agreement that it is past time to call the good folks down at the Ballard St. Square Dance Hall and Loony Bin and have them send the nice young men in the white coats with the straight jacket for Everett…again.

And here comes Chaos around the corner. Let’s see how long the appeal lasts.

Guess who’s going to be doing the plastering on the ceiling?

/// Though it’s chaos which Everett embraced,

somehow, order would not be replaced.

Dozens of ping-pong balls

bounced off ceiling and walls

to land on the floor… evenly spaced!!

Chaos? Those balls look too evenly spread on the floor for chaos.

Rover is hoping for some advice from Mildred. He’s saying, “One ball I can chase and retrieve. Glad to do it. Even two. But this?! I’m only one dog – - – with one mouth.”

Hope he will be the one to pick them up!!!

Jeanie and Everett had initial understanding:

After he retired from a job so demanding

And serious and tiring and seldom much fun

He could let loose and enjoy life a ton

(But without much destruction notwithstanding)

.

Everett had once yearned for Wham-O® toys

He watched the enjoyment they gave other boys

Alas, his family could not afford to buy ‘em

Sometimes other boys would let Everett try ‘em

But to own those things, oh what joy of joys!

.

Upon retiring and with his first SS check

Everett bought a Hula Hoop to drop over his neck

It got past his shoulders fine but got stuck on his waist

There wasn’t gap enough around the hoop thus spaced

He was disappointed but thought, Oh, What the Heck

.

He tried to entice his dog to catch a thrown Frisbee

But all Rex did was watch it land, take a sniff, then pee

The less best said of Slip ‘N Slide and Water Wiggle

They caused him bruises and visits to the Hospitiggal

And the Boogie Board seemed to invite tragedy

.

Super Balls, once a national fad, many he acquired

But after time went by Jeanie got oh, so tired

Of hearing bouncing bouncing bouncing rubber

(Thank God the balls were not made of Flubber!)

She loved her Hubbie but wished him unretired

Everett’s chaos is about to come to an end.

…there goes my dirty mind again.

he should run for president!!

But that’s just a theory

I’m sure the Missus isn’t fond of the broken chandelier. And Everett wouldn’t be so enthusiastic about chaos if he had to pick up all the little balls.

Everett, nobody else in the household is even remotely amused by your antics.

Everett can’t get it up,

He can’t even fill up a cup.

His analyst said,

“Use ping pongs instead.”

Now he’s bright as a newly born pup!

It’ll end when Everett decides to end.

If Mildred was creative, she would give him paintballs to brighten up the ceiling.

I too am an agent of chaos. I am the cat’s chaos minion.

Good morning Balladeers!

As she thinks….why the hell doesn’t he just go to the golf course and do this!!!

I wonder if Everett is related to Kenny?

Now that man’s got balls.

Siegfried would not approve. “We do not scatter balls all over the floor in Kaos!”