Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for March 09, 2025

Heinz has nothing on Walt’s catsup

I would have guessed ’Cat-a-pults.

Plus, it gives all the cats on Ballard St. a better chance of catching a bird, The dogs are starting a petition for equal time so they can chase squirrels in the tree tops.

/// Why do these cats put up with restraint,

(being strapped in), with no loud complaint?

Dangling down from a drone,

they don’t hiss, yowl or moan?

Must be drugged; normal felines they ain’t!!

Meanwhile, the dogs are taking videos so they can blackmail the cats later on.

As if it isn’t bad enough with dropping birdlime, now people have to contend with falling hairballs. Will Mighty Mouse Come to Save the Day?

I don’t envy Walt. It would be hard enough maneuvering the cats into those slings, but pulling them out after their rides! … he’s likely to be clawed to shreds.

Those darn flying cats

Buzz the mice and dogs alike

They compete with flying bats

And scare small Mike on his trike

They drop their scat on peoples’ hats

Protestant and Cat-lick alike

Their appearance catastrophic

Has lessened donations philanthropic

But are they more trouble than the gnats

On the rotten fruit thrown to them strike?

There was a young fellow called Walt,

Who found himself potless and short.

He won on roulette,

Then paid off his debts,

And said drones were the best things he bought.

//////

“These drones are becoming a bore.”

Said Walt as he climbed off a hore,

“I’m renting them out,

But they offer no ‘clout’,

And the clients don’t want ’em no more."

//////

Then the hore had an idea for Walt,

She said, "See all those drones that you bought…

Make them a ride,

For felines!" she cried,

“If it fails, it won’t be your fault!”

//////

So Walter invested in straps,

Plus harnesses ideal for cats,

He doesn’t charge much,

Just a couple of bucks,

Not bad for at least 20 laps!

The End.

The Purr-fect Ballard Street Afternoon!

(BTW, Walt makes more money on his Cat Tranquilizers…)

The forecast calls for clowder skies.

Welllll, it DOES look like fun!

The cats don’t look particularly entertained.

In a park, they should Steve Martins “Mexican cat juggling”

Good morning Balladeers!

From 2012. Dead Cat Drone. www(DOT)dronethusiast(DOT)com slash dead-cat-drone

This is a bit Mickey Mouse, wouldn’t you say, Walt?

This must be the back story for ballardstreet/2012/10/01

Those cats have the most solid case for justified homicide I’ve ever seen.

when it comes to entertainment, walt’s not pussyfootin’ around…

The guy down the block, with a shotgun, just yelled,“Pull!”

Good night, Ballard Dears!

Those cats look shell shocked.