Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for March 20, 2025

Help! I’ve been slimed!

Phideaux has a couple of annoying habits, one is taking up 3/4 of the bed, the other is drooling in his sleep.

Yuck! Get out the salt shaker!

Slimy slugs with dog breath! Yuck!

/// While Bob’s nightmare slugs slime him with goo,

by coincidence Phideaux dreams too.

He is desperate to race,

but keeps running in place,

and is mocked by the squirrels he’d pursue.

He’s gonna have to towel out his ear again.

The giant garden slugs in Bob’s dream kind of look like turkeys to me.

There is a young fellow called Bob,

Who’s dog is a lazy fat slob,

When he joins him in bed,

His tongue soaks his head,

And Bob dreams he’s fighting the Blob!

To have your dog sleep with you is a bad idea

If not well housebroken it can secrete urea

And a big dog might dream it’s hunting game

If you wake up in its mouth you’re to blame

.

And if you awaken cold upon the floor

To hear above you a ragged doggy snore

The dog has supplanted your place in bed

And now it is solely his bed instead

It’s the design on his blanket!

That’s because there’s a giant dog tongue slobbering on your head.

Stayed overnight at a friends home. They had two beagles. Slept on the floor and I have a habit of mouth being open. Suddenly woke up the next morning with a tongue in my mouth. Makes me gag to think about it!

Bob needs to wear a shower cap to bed.

Good morning Balladeers!

I once had a dog who had a series of subtle strategies to get me out of bed and take him for a walk. He’d start with the well-placed cold nose, and if that hadn’t worked, a couple of nudges, a lick or two, a tug on the blankets, and when all else failed, he’d get one of my cowboy boots and drop it on my head!

Bob dreams he’s been slimed by a slug.

And sometimes a bump or a tug.

But, if he wakes up, and sees it’s his pup,

he’ll yell “Go sleep on the rug!”

Those are some George Booth dog legs sticking up there.

Love the blanket drawing!!!!

Brilliant limericks today everyone!

A slug of whiskey will cure that.

no wonder bob always wakes up feeling sluggish…