Brewster Rockit by Tim Rickard for August 25, 2014

Luna Pizza Conquerors…. – We’ll capture you in 30 minutes…. or it’s free….

Candygram?

IT’S A COOKBOOK!!!!

How do you get soldiers to hide in a pizza?Use doughboys!

It’s a devious trap. No one on that station can refuse free pizza.

I would not eat until I knew where it came from; I have had some pizza by by a sandwich shop that had a funny taste to it like baloney.

Candygram?

“Once the pizza is on the station, our men hiding in the pizza will surprise them and…”

“Hiding IN the pizza.”

“Yes, and then they…”

“The pizza that you baked in a 800 degree oven.”

“Well, yes…”

“And then cut into at least 12 slices.”

“…Oh. Well then, how about we build this large order of vindaloo…”

“Wait… This pizza has horse meat on it!”

“You said you wanted us to make a Trojan horse pizza.”

“I meant… Oh, let’s just go home.”

Hey, this Trojan pizza has little pieces of rubber on it.

It’s the Landshark!

If you stop and think about it, a Trojan pizza isn’t as implausible as it seems. After all, the Romans claimed to be descended from the Trojans.

When Clinton was President I secretly feared this exact scenario would be how terrorists would finally infiltrate the White House and take over the country. When Dubya became president my fears were doubled. I don’t fear this now, because Michelle would pummel any would be pizza delivery guy with vegetables.