Close to Home by John McPherson for May 26, 2022

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    Farside99  over 2 years ago

    My wife used a lot of Hamburger Helper when we were first married. I’m glad she didn’t find this on the shelf.

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    ronaldspence  over 2 years ago

    I bet Newt will keep an eye out for her!

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    in-dubio-pro-rainbow  over 2 years ago

    It’s as BOO-bby Weep sang: “The Newt Has a Thousand Eyes” – at least in this package. Or am I just as drunk as a newt?

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    in-dubio-pro-rainbow  over 2 years ago

    And if the package comes too unhandy, “gravitate” yourself to the “Eye-sack Newt-on” the left side…you really don’t have to be a scientist to know that

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    Walrus Gumbo Premium Member over 2 years ago

    She must be shopping at GhoulMart.

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    Doug K  over 2 years ago

    You have to have (supply your own) or buy the newt eye(s).

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    Detroit Dan  over 2 years ago

    Where’s the Helper Helper?

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    NeedaChuckle Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Cream of Goats!!! LOL! Funnier than the Helper.

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    BadCreaturesBecomeDems  over 2 years ago

    Dinner!

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    Zebrastripes  over 2 years ago

    Wonder if Zelda would know I used this?

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    Aficionado  over 2 years ago

    Careful, Bleeb! She might think that you could be an interesting ingredient.

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    jbduncan  over 2 years ago

    But, is it organic?

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    Jim2g  over 2 years ago

    Watch out bleeb you don’t want to end up in the stew

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    geese28  over 2 years ago

    Sprinkle some cockroach antenna for seasoning

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    Dobie  Premium Member over 2 years ago

    Ingredients:

    1. The left ear of a giant, (or the right ear)

    2. The knee of an eagle

    3. A Terrible Nice

    4. A large, red, one-eyed, no-nosed, nothing.

    Stir well, and I think you get Cracker Jacks. シ

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    jango  over 2 years ago

    That would be great to see Newt Gingrich wearing an eye patch now!

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    spaceagesoul  over 2 years ago

    Cool it with a baboon’s blood.

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    the lost wizard  over 2 years ago

    Where do the keep the Toe of Frog soup? :)

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    cuzinron47  over 2 years ago

    Is she gonna newt it, I mean nuke it?

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    NoSleepTil_BKLYN  over 2 years ago

    Witches Who Are Bad Cooks Be Loco!

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    The Orange Mailman  over 2 years ago

    This is hilarious. I have a mild objection, though, to the commonly drawn caricature of witches. They are often drawn with crooked teeth, green skin, and moles on their faces and generally made out to be ugly. However, many witches do not have any of these characteristics and appear quite beautiful.

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    ars731  over 2 years ago

    “Needs more Eye of Newt.. you always want more eye of newt! If it were up to you, the brew would be nothing but newt eyes! "

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