Close to Home by John McPherson for October 07, 2023

Come on Moby, quit your blubbering!

Something or other.

It’s not Moby’s fault, nor is it Ahab’s. It’s that nutjob Melville who took 521 pages to tell the story.

Moby, “He prefers to go by Ishmael.”

Ahab, “Yes, please. Call me Ishmael.”

Ahab chased me around the world.

He was just so fixated.

Since it’s from 2017, here’s some table fair from Granny.

Possum Shanks in Squirrel Gravy (your choice of greens)

Hoo-wee! The smell will make the neighbors come runnin’ … they’ll be thicker’n crows in a corn patch!

Ironically, the counselor’s name is Peg.

Of course, let’s just brush right past the fact that Moby took his leg and ate it. How ’bout a nice chorus of Koom by ya, or whatever they sing these days.

Well if only moby would stop being such a….whiner

It’s probably a blowhole issue. It’s always about the blowhole.

Moby’s been wailing like a baby.

Let’s face it, they have compatibility issues.

get some ambergris

Melville was the one who objectified him.

Let’s not talk about the leg thing

Ahab also poked Moby with his pegleg. Don’t forget that. And he cheated on him with a shoulder parrot. These are the facts!

He’s a total dick!

That’s really clever, John.

“Objectified — Gary Hustwit

Objectified is a feature-length documentary about our complex relationship with manufactured objects and, by extension, the people who design them."

Thought you’d like to know…

I knew there was something fishy about their relationship. :p

Can’t make up my mind to like this or not. It’s so “out there” and yet cleverly tied together with the psychological cliche — but Moby’s tail fluke lukes like a giant fish’s fin. Tsk tsk tsk. Yes, I know I misspelled “look,” but I left it because it was funny.