Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for December 24, 2012

Don’t forget to allow time for milk and cookies left at most houses.

Santa is a timelord. His sleigh is a TARDIS.

I think Santa Claus is a woman….I hate to be the one to defy a sacred myth, but I believe he’s a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!

For starters, the vast majority of men don’t even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I’m convinced Santa is a woman.

Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen’s rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.

Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he’d still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.

Other reasons why Santa can’t possibly be a man:

Men can’t pack a bag.Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.Men would feel their masculinity is threatened…having to be seen with all those elves.Men don’t answer their mail.Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a “bowlful of jelly.”Men aren’t interested in stockings unless somebody’s wearing them.Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men………

Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous — definite guy.Cupid flies around carrying weapons.Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers.

Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick. Not a chance.

Did Quill give the parcel to Santa on his sleigh of six white boomers? (I’m not Aussie, but I learned of the “Six White Boomers” Aussie Xmas song at a Xmas party last year or the year before; there was an Aussie in my LDS ward.)

…Well, Luann does have reason to think it’s for her…her boyfriend, and all. But it might be some kind of board game, where it is indeed for a family, because Luann couldn’t, no matter how much she wants, use it alone.

It’s a box of Kangaroo steaks with Koala balls on the side

But, on the serious side, my guess is he sent them the finished recordings of the music he and Luann did together.

There’s the 16-year-old!

if takahashi-sama ever needs a temp artist, i know who i’d suggest

Too bad, they were actually quite amusing. (In a good way!)

Hey – There’s no Santa. Geez – I learned that in HIGH SCHOOL…

& Leviticus…..the way I heard that one, it ends this way, once you figure out the G-forces: “If Santa ever did exist, he’s dead, now.”

By this point, Santa Teleports. Chimneys be damned, he just teleports in front of the fireplace because all the children expect him to. (As if he came down the chimney)

Also, ‘Santa Claus’ is technically a shortened form of St. Nicholas. Or St. Nick, if you like.

Supercute image, anyone we know?BTW, kangaroo steaks are delicious and nutritious. No cholesterol.

Mikeyj said, less than a minute ago

@Leviticus

You’re replying to Leviticus’s comment:

This is one of the dozen ladies that will take 10 minutes of Santa’s time

^^Her name is Theresa Hong, her BF is Jeremy Brandt; I call them Terry & Jerry for short

At his age, Santa will need a lot more than 10 minutes. . .^^Unless he buys himself some industrial strength Viagra

Yes, he was actually, he was a Greek Bishop in the 4th cent. AD> He was a 4th century Greek Christian bishop of Myra (now Demre) in Lycia,

Im with wecatsgocomics tooooo long didn’t readMerry Christmas to all

I bet its some Vegemite!!!

“It’s from Quilligan? BAH!”Mordock said with a SNEER.“He’s thousands of miles AWAY, Yet His presence is STILL Felt HERE!”Mordock POUNDED the table and FURROWED his BROW.“I MUST Stop This Ozball from COMING! But HOW???”

Why do people break one of the commandments by taking the Lord’s name in vain?

you my dear have way too much time on your hands. lol……….

Oh and whatever you celebrate, may you all be merry and bright!

What did Luann send Quill? Hopefully she remembered him and his family. Merry Christmas.

The box contains a gift for his “other” American girlfriend… Oops!

or, it could be that nasty stuff called vegemite. or, the other equally nasty stuff called bovril

I like your thinking oldcomicsfan!

@Leviticus, oldcomicsfan, and especially Brdshtt:

All 3-of-you have forgotten, today is Dec. 24 in America, however it is Dec. 25 on the other side of the world. So your math is off by 24 hrs. Santa has 2 NIGHTS to deliver those presents NOT 1 night. So you all need to recalculate all your numbers, no your mark, get set, GO!

I still want to know the latest fom Weinie World and a Merry Christmas to all my fellow comic fans!

It’s Kangaroo cheese!

So many people forget that the real Santa is a tiny elf with eight miniature reindeer pulling his sleigh!Luann needs to focus: Quill’s present is for the family, not just her!

I wonder if Shannon will get her million roo beers for christmas.

I’m glad to see that someone keeps the old anime classics alive…

I was just wondering… Can you do something with a Kimegure Orange Road theme?

Trev12 said, 9 minutes ago

@Mikeyj

I’m glad to see that someone keeps the old anime classics alive…^^Those are my own characters but, yeah, 90s anime was way better than the anime they make now

it’s a Dingo!

Leviticus said, about 3 hours ago

@C C Alexander

Its a cartoon, folks!.I have never seen that statement here before. You must be the first person to ever say it.^^LOL, nice sarcasm, Lev

“Franky, Old Friend.”Mordock said with a SNERK.“You CAN’T MAIL a ‘Letter Bomb’! Whattaya some Kind of JERK?!?”

are you on crack? :-D

Merry Christmas to all who know the true meaning.

to all others, Happy Holiday.

You’re replying to zedman2222’s comment:

Nice camel toe on the red suit. Roll of quarters?^^ummm, it’s just his “fly”

@Dave53

You’re replying to Dave53’s comment:

never liked manga … feel it’s ruining cartooning as a style.^^Strangely, at first, I wasn’t that fond of it either, but, the story telling is far superior than American comics with their silly overtly muscled idiots fighting crime in their underwear; eventually, I guess I got used to the art style, but, I STILL hate the girl’s favorite, the “Bishonen” (pretty boys)

And believe it or not, this is one of the more MASCULINE looking Bishos! VVV

Merry Christmas, everyone!

You’re replying to Brdshtt’s comment:

Best Wishes, Mikey!

…

BTW, that’s Castrol GTX 10 – 30 in my glass…^^I think I’ll take Shannon’s example and have a Roo’beer, instead

Very good calculations, but may I be so rude as to point out a slight error? If we assume that midnight starts at the International date line, it will take 24 hours for it to travel around the worls and back to the international date line. Now if we also assume that darkness (for Santa’s purposes) starts 3 hours before midnight and ends 5 hours after midnight, that would add 8 hours for a total of 32 hours for Santa to make his trip.