Eek! by Scott Nickel for January 07, 2013

Maybe the Mucous League.

When he puts the pedal to the metal, everyone says “Look at that escargot.”

♫ ♫Going down the Highway, He’s in front of you.The speed limit is 50, He’s going 22.He wont’ let you pass him, He won’t let you byYou curse him he can’t hear you, You wish that he would die.He’s Snailman!! (Snailman)He’s older than a fossil, But still they let him drive.He got his drivers license, when Lincoln was alive.If he continues shrinking some day he’s gonna crashHe’s sitting on 2 phone books to see over the dash!He’s Snailman! (Snailman)If I had a big Bazooka I would blow him off the roadIf my car was a steam roller I would squish him like a toad!Snailman (Snailman) ♫♪

Look at that escargot!

I hear he has NaCl problems . . . ☻

Try the Justice Lag.

Surely one snail travels at the same speed as 100.

You’ll have to prove yourself by your deeds, Snailman! Get going! Vite, vite vite!

He’d be good at slowing villains down.

The villains could get stuck in the snail’s slime.