Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 20, 2013

Soon he’ll be itching for some relief!

time to bring out the calamine lotion

He’ll need an ocean of calamine lotion…

It takes a hardy fellow to wear a laurel like that.

I hardly ever feel winnery.whinery, sometimes.OK, I admit it, whinery a lot of times.

“Winning” Wasn’t that trademarked by Charlie Sheen last year?

Hope Pig isn’t going to rest on his laurels.

Itchy lies the head that wears a crown.

At least he didn’t wipe his butt with it.

Some Selsun Blue will fix the whole thing.

If Pig is the winner, I would hate to see who the ones he beat.

The garland does not make the winner, Pig. It is nothing but a symbol. I’m not sure which of the ancient games used poison oak as its symbolic reward…. (Scratches head.)

Of course you’re feeling less winnery… it’s spring!

The poison oak remark came from a POISONED OAF!!

Maybe instead of blabbing, Pig can take off the poison oak!

Cue the Righteous Brothers! ♫♪♫♪♫ Pig’s lost that winnery feeling, oh that winnery feeling Bring back that winnery feeling, now it’s gone, gone, gone And he’ll just scratch on, whoh ohoh oh… (I never knew it was possible to be not allergic to it. What luck!)

Pig will need to see the doc to get a shot so that the rash will not spread into his eyes and cause blindness.

Friend on riding mower with shorts, sandals and sunglasses goes off property by 5 feet and hits patch of poison ivy. 3 days in hospital due to inhalation/ingestion and skin exposure..“Funny” now (oh, OK; even back then it was somewhat humourous after we found out it he wasn’t going to die).

Look on the bright side pig, at least your victory drink didn’t taste like burnt almonds.

taint funny if you’ve had it , can be real serious is your caught out in the boonies…

Use Windex!

Pig’s tubby enough to feel Michael Winner-y.

haha

When I was in Basic Training the drill sergeant looked at one of the troops when we were in the field, asked him if he knew he’d camoflaged his helmet with poison oak.

Oh Pig…

LOL xxx

“We Extend This Laurel, and Hearty Handshake…”

I had a cousin who was immune to poison ivy. He used to lord it over all of his friends and make fun of them because they could get the rash, and he couldn’t. One day he picked a bunch of poison ivy leaves and rubbed them all over his face. A few days later, he found out that IMMUNE is not necessarily forever.

His face blew up like a basketball. Everyone had a grand time with that.

Wow – thanks for refreshing my memory. I see a long evening ahead tonight settling back and revisiting some Jesse Winchester albums.