Matt Bors for November 29, 2007

Transcript:

The housing market has collapsed. The dollar is in freefall. There's only one safe investment choice left... THE FOREVER STAMP! Buy today and it will increase in value along with postage prices. JUST THINK: A 41¢ investment NOW could yield a 2,000% return in 10 years when postage is a crushing $8.25. Man: They'll reach maturity when the oils crunch makes mail a luxurious indulgence! In the future, corporations will offer piles of these suckers as retirement packages instead of backdated stocks. Man: It's SWEET! I'll mail my fat butt to the Bahamas every WEEKEND! But like all investments, the Forever Stamp carries risk. Old Man: Y-you remember STAMPS, don't you? Young Man: Sorry, sir...teleportation tokens ONLY. zZZAP!