Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for April 21, 2014

Yeh, to the outhouse.

A cruise is no place to test out a stomach virus. How can they tell the ones who get sick with the virus from the ones who are just seasick?

Hey, Wiz, if it looks too good to be true, IT IS!

Those scientists are gonna get an unpleasant visit from Henry one day…

Pass on both.

@awgiedawdie: The distinction is clear. Those who are seasick have stuff running out of one end only. Those who caught the virus have stuff running out of both ends.

All they do is declare new “ailments”. Note the increase in the variety of new illnesses that require medication. The Psych side of the industry is especially prolific.

I would love to see your proof of this.

Feeling green and leaning over the boat rail, a passing sailor said; “Stomach’s kinda weak, huh?” and I said; “Nope, I threw it about as far as anyone ELSE did !”

No, they don’t need to make viruses. All they have to do is create a name for a particular condition, and then promote their latest drug as a treatment for that condition. One of their more successful efforts was fibromyalgia. (spelling?) Ironically, after they began selling the drug that is supposed to help that condition, they found that the drug actually does help a real condition….

I think it depends on the cruise line. Some are definitely better than others.

That explains why these viruses have been happening a lot on cruise ships lately!

Shades of the AARP magazine: Several years back:They rec. a cruise as a way to relaxA few months later, the virus outbreaks!A later article advised seniors to invest in something solid, such as Enron!I was tempted to write a letter asking what theyhad against us old geezers!!

Anyone else remember some years back they were predicting a virus outbreak – Swine flu?Rush to get flu shots.Few if any cases in US resulted!Johnny Carson: Medical science has finally done it!Came up with a cure for which there is no known disease!

I have been on a few cruises, but in my case they paid me to go and even gave me a special uniform to wear.

Apparently, you don’t watch the news. There have been a slew of disastrous cruises recently, including illnesses & malfunctioning ships!!!!!

Then there are the pharmaceutical “lumpers.” Remember all those respiratory diseases? Asthma, emphysema, silicosis… Now they just diagnose “Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease” (COPD) and treat everybody with the same (expensive) medicine.

I picked up an 8-page brochure from a local Health Food Store one day years ago. Each page described a different horrible condition that I was supposed to have. But, don’t worry, they had a pill for that.-As for Restless Leg Syndrome, I have a medication that causes it. Oh, joy.

This is what REALLY happened …..as shown above

“Fibromyalgia is very real.”.Or at least it MAY be real. they always say you may have it, not that you do have it or even that it actually exists..I believe in it, of course, but then I’M A BELIEVER…

this is the precursor of commercials for medicine huh????!!!…god I hate that especially the ones for Cialis and Viagra…..I always figured a vibrant guy shouldn’t need help getting it on if you know what I mean

Meanwhile, in a Wuhan lab…