Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 03, 2014

She doesn’t consider him a Bud; in fact, every time he calls, she says, “Oh, Schlitz.”

Rhett McLaughlin and Link Neal once did a Good Mythical Morning episode on YouTube about bizarre 911 calls.

@Alexikakos

Yu beat me to making a comment about it. The things folks seem to think are real emergencies that require 911 are absolutely ridiculous.

Would that.

Yep, you wouldn’t believe some of the calls I fielded when I’d spell our dispatcher for supper. And this was back in the 70’s, way before 911 came along!

In The Call, 911 operator Halle Berry gets the caller killed by her actions.Just pass Fred through to her…

Glad to see the Crocs are back ! Trouble is that call should of been made 4 beers ago ! Have cops stop at beer store on way to issue ticket for calling 911 . Give credit card info to nice 911 lady.

Isn’t that what beer fairies are for?

Dose 911 peepul no ees vary helpfel.

LOL LOL

When you’re out of beer… Tough Schlitz!

make your own booze.

Please give us a month’s worth of crocs!!!

There once was a lady named Ann HeiserWho thought that no one could surprise herBut Pabst took a chanceAnd found a Schlitz in her pants Now she is sadder Budweiser

I don’t think the cops are going to be able to help:Argyle Sweater

Was a cop for a short bit. Responded to a call… man called police because his wife refused to sleep wih him and he wanted us to make her… Sometimes it surprises me that we are at the top of the food chain.

Call 911!

My great-grandfather & my grandfather both worked for Liebmann Brothers Brewery (Rheingold Beer), even during Prohibition (1920 to 1933). They had some strange customers, but NONE as strange as Zeeba Zeeba Eata!

Am a cop now….heard that before.There was one not too long ago where an ambulance was summoned for a medical emergency. They showed up rushing to the door. The drunken lady asked for a ride to the convenience store to buy cigarettes…she was out. Not to be out done by a guy who called needing a ride to his girlfriend’s house. She called him asking him to come over and get some loving as she was hot to trot. He had no car. He was not happy after the police response. He got a big ticket and he got no nookie.

Hooray, Crocs are back!

A bit off topic, but how many of you have watched the Monty Python “Live at the Hollywood Bowl” DVD/VHS? The part about Drinking American beer is like making love in a canoe?

Let’s go on a beer run; http://mp3skull.com/mp3/todd_snider_beer_run_bob_and_tom.html

I wonder if Stephan read the last “Wimpy Kid” book? In it, a kid staying as a guest in Gregg Hefley’s house calls 911 because they are out of ketchup.

What?!….no beer during gametime is an emergancy

Just happy to see the boyz are back!

A rookie can never get enough nookie from Cookie.Just the facts.

Hehe.

He had to call 911.The White House apparently wasn’t taking calls.

Another reason to have 311 service in your area.

They probably called 411 to get the number for 911

So, Fred, your definition of “emergency” is different from mine….

The face palm sells it.

The comic may be funny but don’t get any ideas. Calling 911 for a bad reason may result in getting sent to jail, or a hefty fine. I think. But not only could you be preventing peoples lives from being saved, you will also be wasting hard working peoples time. I know this is a bit ridiculous for me to comment and coupd be a bit dramatic this here but I thought it might be a good thing to mention it.

ME NEED BEER!

No exaggeration here; 911 callers have reported “emergencies” like not getting enough ketchup on their fries, or ones equally asinine. (Croconine?)