Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 18, 2014

If you’re looking for immortality, Stephan, how about writing a book called Rats I Have Stomped On?

Victor metal pedal rat traps, on sale for $1.99 ea. Just saying.

Hey, I like rat!He says the stuff I wish I could say!

Pastis: “Oh common on, 24 cases of The Complete Cathy Collection? Still in the plastic? That’s gold, baby! That’s gold!”

Hey, Stephan, want to borrow several of my cats? They’re excellent hunters – we’ve had no rodents in or around the house for many years. Lots of dead ones turned in to exchange for some tuna though…..LOL!

I wish I’d been doing this with movies I’ve watched. Would have saved me a lot of time watching really bad ones that I’d seen before and didn’t recognize until two-thirds of the way through. (Heads up, Mark Hamill, I’m talking about Corvette Summer!)

I used to do this, largely so I knew which books I’ve read, and to make some attempt to keep them straight. My memory of Dickens is a mishmash of horses on wallpaper, boy in attic asking for more porridge, Stella Havisham breaking David’s heart, the Dan Pegotty dying of spontaneous combustion, etc.

You should see my neck of the woods right now… street after street, city after city…. all the stuff we saved in our basements that gave our lives “meaning,” soggy and smelly, out on the curb… it was like the heavens opened up and wept on Detroit the day that Robin passed.

Toon Boy has a constant struggle with his alter ego.

I do this with the wines I drink, so I’ll know which ones to drink more of.

Pathetic, Cartoon-Boy! How can your cartoonish life be so devoid of meaning that you must resort to tricks to imagine some meaning? Rat is the devilish voice of your conscience saying “clean out that attic!”

I use Good Reads to keep track of what I’ve read.

that is seriously funny, and strikes pretty close to home!

I used to do that. Now that my husband and I have separate lists on Netflix I don’t have to write them down anymore.

Just as long as you’re sure it’s only mildew….

“I have a pencil and paper in my car and every time I’m stopped by a train, I count box cars and keep a running total.”

That sounds like OCD.

I had a excel file of all the books I owned so I could keep track of them. I had about 700, and it had taken quite awhile to do it. About a year or 2 after I did my hard drive crashed and I didn’t have that backed up. I didn’t bother to redo it.

Rat is only jealous because he’s probably illiterate.xxx

I thought box cars were passé on the rails now.Everything goes in trailers or containers.

Good one!

“I have a pencil and paper in my car and every time I’m stopped by a train, I count box cars and keep a running total.”

What? You don’t count the locomotives?!! They’re the best part! Now where is my record from May 15, 1955 outside Yuma, AZ?

Stephan does not rock the V-neck.