Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 29, 2014

Just how do you put a mudflap on someone?

Not to nitpick, but Pig already knows what a mudflap is; he once tried to create a porcine version of the Mudflap Girl.

Mother truckers.Trother Muckers.Don’t let mother muckers muck you.

Would it be a Mudder flap?

This may be the first time he had a setup like this without a pun payoff. I feel so unfulfilled.

looks like SOMEONE didn’t get what they wanted for Christmas!

here pig, you need this https://slm-assets0.secondlife.com/assets/629963/lightbox/208af77bca19295be8054176940d235c.jpg?1277086658

seal shut the hole where all the debris will usually get kicked out from.. mainly the mouth..

Spinal Tap, “Big Bottom”

The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin’That’s what I saidThe looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksandOr so I have read

My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedoI’d like to sink her with my pink torpedo

Big bottom, big bottomTalk about bum cakes, my girl’s got ’emBig bottom drive me out of my mindHow could I leave this behind?

I met her on Monday, ’twas my lucky bun dayYou know what I meanI love her each weekday, each velvety cheek dayYou know what I mean

My love gun’s loaded and she’s in my sightsBig game is waiting there inside her tights, yeah

Big bottom, big bottomTalk about mud flaps, my girl’s got ’emBig bottom drive me out of my mindHow could I leave this behind?

My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedoI’d like to sink her with my pink torpedo

Big bottom, big bottomTalk about bum cakes, my girl’s got ’emBig bottom drive me out of my mindHow could I leave this behind?

Pig’s mom would not like to be mud-flapped by her little boy. I bet she’d fry his bacon!

If Rat were there… He would definitely have something to say!

He never keeps his trap shut in situations like these,

xxx

Apparently I am the only reader flumoxed by this installment. Would someone please explain what mudflaps have to do with painful Christmas visits and why mother needs protection from debris?