Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 24, 2015

People will believe anything if it is said with enough authority. Or, if it involves eating ice cream…

But what’s Pig’s stance on chocolate sprinkles?

What’s an alternative, Pig, if you’re lactose intolerant: frozen yogurt? (Not that I’m L.I.)

Telling people what they want to hear also works on cable news networks.

Hey, I think Pig’s onto something……

I’ve been doing that for years – I’m still directionless.

Before the ice cream one should eat 6 or 8 bacon cheeseburger sliders…..and frys……let’s go all the way !

Pig, took lessons from that douchebag, Armando, guy on “Undercover Boss” weeks ago

For the lactose intolerant, probably sorbet or something like it.

Also, the solution for when you see your retirement fund running out before you are.

Sounds like Pig works for the Veterans Administration (the VA).

Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla and Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup.

Peddling soft solutions to a gullible audience is a time-dishonored enterprise. Snake oil, elixirs, ice cream…all the same. Hucksters such as Pig has become thankfully rarely succeed for very long before being exposed and falling from public favor….Take it to heart, Pig. This will not last.

gallon of milk, two or three bags of chocolate chip cookies, a raspberry chocolate cheesecake, AND a couple gallons of ice cream always bring on the coma and truly makes ME unmotivated!!!! bless you pig for your unmotivating gift!!-the only thing better would be 24/7 cable watching while eating all of the above

Pastis has been watching the TRINITY NETWORK again.

Oh, WHERE do I sign up???

Will cheese puffs be an acceptable substitute, oh great Guru?

I wish I was in that audience!

xxx

Finally a cult I can join!Hallelujah!

SIgn me up!

Audrey to an injured Cary in “Charade” – You won’t be able to lie on your back for a while, but then, you can lie from any position, can’t you.

Pig has finally found his calling!

Don’t forget the Golden Rule – Scoop unto others as you would have them scoop unto you. I just hope this doesn’t lead to denominational flavor wars.

hallelujah!!!! a religion with no wars. let’s all eat . no arguments over what flavor please.

I’m eating ice cream while reading this. Coincidence!

Bad advice but feels so good…

And thus the great schism between the church of cheese and that of ice cream began.