Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for May 20, 2015

Bears are just as bad, and a lot stronger! (They also walk those “tightrope” cable attempts!)

The joke is, none of the doors are numbered… you get to guess which one is ‘door number 3’…

Door #3? Easy-Peasy… just suspend the bird feeder from the bottom of a Solar powered droid set to hover in place… _____________________________________________

The snag is that the Solar-powered droids are a top secret (alphabet agency) spy device designed to fly at 17,000 ft. for a year without landing for fuel or maintenance. Of course, hell; being the place that the idea for a spy device of that sort probably originated. should make it easy, to acquire the technology to make it work for the bird feeder scenario.

I win! I’ve done it….Take a T shaped metal pole, with multiple feeders on it, and put a baffle about 3/4 of the way up…About the size and shape of a garbage can lid……They just cant get around it….

and otters. Don’t forget the otters!

You could either a) shovel the snow out the door, b) pack soft snow around the base of the bird feeder or c) tell your ex that if she can outwit the squirrels, you will admit she’s better than you.

Watch one minute of this: https://youtu.be/EXJF9M7y6YQ?t=225

Just do what I did. Hook the wire the feeders hanging from with a mild electric current. Of course feeder must be wood or you have fried birds

Baffles don’t work so well where I live. They just jump from nearby objects. I’ve seen squirrels walk across a clothes line, then jump on top of a feeder. If there’s ANYTHING nearby that’s higher, they use it. And there’s little open space here.

… and don’t forget the urban foxes (the animal ones)!

the easy answer is an exactogambrcox positioned on the dark side of the moon..squirrels can not detect it and it can support a droid..

For those watching the video I posted:

That was the sequel. I saw the original on TV, way back when. Then I found the sequel on YouTube a couple of years ago, when I went looking for the original (specifically, for the candy machine robbery). Look for the original if you’d like to see some more squirrel antics.

For those too busy to watch the videos:

The bottom line is; it is practically useless to try to outwit the squirrels. My solution is; just feed them (usually separately).

That must have been one long winter.

I thought you were referring to cockroaches.

Shoveling snow sounds like a cool job in hell.

I have a solution for #3. A .22 short powderless round and a red dot scope. I feed the foxes.

Yankee Flipper: www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEW9TG6Dcgg

Squirrels = Rats with good PR

I’ve done it, so I guess it means I can get out of hell free.

Yeah… my dad tried that once and we had to take him to the ER. He needed 12 stitches in his arm where he sliced it open on the metal he was bending into a cone to wrap around the bird feeder pole, to keep the squirrels from climbing it. Squirrels: 1, Dad: 0.

I just think it’s fun to watch my Jack Russell Terrorist chase ’em off.

The question is: How did he get there? Can’t imagine such a reward. More choices than most of us have all our lives. Imagination or wishful yearnings; like it might have been if . . .

Let the bird feeder go empty.

Crankshaft would choose ‘outwit squirrels’

Might as well give up. We do.

You´re in hell, its hot …… shovel snow please.

Search Youtube for twirl-a-squirrel. Door #3 please.

I don’t have squirrels here, but I do have chipmunks. They’re cute as the dickens and get along with the birds.

Actually, you mix a lot of pepper with the seeds. Squirrels won’t eat the stuff (and after a couple attempts they stay away), it doesn’t bother the birds.

I have found two solutions to the squirrel problem: 1) Use a metal pole to hang the feeder, and grease the pole with Vaseline. It does not harm them and it is fun to watch them try to climb the pole. The only problem is that in cold weather, the vaseline doesn’t work well, it just gets hard. 2) Learn to enjoy watching squirrels.

We got 2 Squirrel Be Gones. A little pricey, but they work like a champ! There is one called Twirl-a-squirrel, though, that we found really tempting for the potential entertainment value-if PETA killjoys haven’t had it banned!

Just put up a squirrel feeder. The birds will raid it. I raised great weeds, a yard full of pet gophers and raccoons, and all sorts of critters who nibbled from the bird feeder. I tried traditional gardening, and realized non traditional gardening fit me better. Neighbors never complained, we had a high fence.

Out witting squirrels is easy. put the bird feeder at the top of a 1 inch diameter pole 5 to 6 ft off the ground. spay the lower 2/3 of the pole with pam or other cooking spray. Watch the squirrels try to climb the pole. They get halfway up and slide back to the ground. Hilarious! A couple of days of this and the squirrels get the message that they can’t get at the bird seed.

Someone has. They’re called squirrel hurlers (I think). The best ones know the difference between a squirrel and and a bird.

I’ll take my ‘Get out of Hell Free’ card now.

Tried the Pam spray trick. It gets tacky with dirt as it ages and then they brave it anyway. So for the last year I’ve used big-bubble bubble wrap on the things they could jump onto my feeder from. Long claws=airbags going off in their faces—it totally works.

Decisions, decisions, decisions…

I just provide them with food that’s easier to get to. Given that, why would they bother with the bird feeders?

Whyizzit? Depictions of hell always show so much more originality and creative imagination than depictions of heaven.

Some grease on the pole works works, too.

“Fixed fortifications are a monument to the stupidity of man….” -— General George Smith Patton, Jr.

Squirrelbuster dot com.But that doesn’t do much to alleviate the eternal suffering of that one particular winter, does it? The one where the only escape from drudgery and bad company was outwitting wildlife.

The guy at the podium must be from Duke University.

Actually, there is a simple way to eliminate the Squirrel problem.A Nice, Hungry Tomcat.They don’t eat Birdseed, but they just Love a nice dinner of Squirrel Tartare..All you have to do then is make sure the Bird Feeder is too high for the Cat to jump onto.

Each of the options has its disadvantages and would lead to eternal boredom or frustration. The only sensible thing to do would be to check with Monty Hall.

The best solution I’ve seen is to mix powered pepper into the seed, and feed the squirrels a little something separately. Squirrels gotta eat, too. Why not just let them eat from the bird feeder? Because, when it runs low, they will destroy it in an effort to get the last bits.

We just lost a new ‘bird’ feeder to the tree rats this past week. Our neighbourhood has many trees so the place is infested with them. We need more peregrine falcons!

My money is on the raccoons. They already know how to observe and copy we humans.(I have seen one push the walk signal and then wait until the cars stopped before crossing the road).Squirrels will just get distracted with a bag of nuts and seeds.@Downundergirl Otters?… smart. but maybe too busy playing?