Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for June 17, 2015

Take up tennis.

In order to get a gas truck to explode, he would have to make a hole in one. Frankly, I don’t think he can do it.

They are about as tightly wound as a golf ball.

Old golfers never die, they just lose their….

Tightly wound but not too tightly wrapped.

Why would any sane person spent a hot afternoon in the sum chasing a little ball around a big park and raising his blood pressure in the name of “recreation"? So, I can understand why a golfer would take a shot at a big-time flame-out….

Maybe Elin Woods is chasing his car with a 7 iron.

So’s Toon Boy.

WE ARE NOT. WE’RE NOT. WE’RE NOT. WE’RE NOT.

Maybe his putting would improve if he tried to move the ball around the little windmill instead of through it.

Rat’s summation of golfers sounds about par for the course.

George Carlin on golf:

Shooting marbles is stressful enough for me. The neighborhood 6 & 7 year olds hate losing their marbles to me. That’s OK though, I’ve already lost mine.

I think Rat is channeling a little bit of Calvin in this one.

I don’t know why anyone would consider nature-watcher golfers violent; they love their eagles and birdies!

“a beautiful walk ruined” that’s golf for you

He came a lot closer than Dan Aykroyd did. He nearly blew the little guy up.

Didn’t Calvin do this once?

Does that mean we have to change ‘going postal’ to ‘going golfing’?