Bliss by Harry Bliss for June 08, 2010

Perhaps Steve Jobs knows, opps, maybe not

Shoot it more. That should help.

Do you have one more bullet?

I think you voided the warranty?

Is it plugged in? Turned on?

I shot the laptop But I didn’t shoot no Wi-Fi, mon, oh no! Oh! I shot the laptop But I didn’t shoot no trolls online, ooh, ooh, oo-ooh.) Yeah! All around in my home town, They’re tryin’ to track me down; They say they want to bring me in guilty For the killing of a slow laptop, For the life of a slow laptop. But I say…

Apologies to Mr. Marley

Hello Smith & Wesson?

There’s an app for that.

I know the feeling brother

Like the old (waaay back in system 6) Mac Madness-Rage desk accessory (or something like that). It allowed you to empty a revolver into your screen with appropriate ‘bullet holes’ each time you invoked it.

Step #2, grab the sledgehammer with both hands and raise it over your head, then bring it down rapidly on the keyboard.

Install a new OS. Fedora, Ubuntu, FreeBSD, OpenSolaris, etc. My computers are used castoffs that were “too slow”. The real problem was Windows and malware. Even reinstalling Windows from CD with a reformat will bring people back to the speed they initially bought.

Buy a new laptop! You just killed yours.

Hi, I’m from Sue Em and Screw Em. This is a clear case of justifiable computercide. All the evidence in the hard drive was destroyed. The data saved in the disk is inadmissible.

That’s not what they meant by making sure it was plugged.