Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for June 08, 2010

It would have had to have been a comedy!

but a duck would have been just as difficult to harpoon as that whale turned out to be. still, i can’t picture Gregory Peck chasing one all over the ocean.

Queequack?

@ thebird55

A great start — must be how many tales evolve. And, it was a great WHITE duck!

Thatsa big quacker!

Terror is large and white, the Great White Whale, the Great White Shark, and the Great White Duck!

LOL

But ducks are white already….

Not plagiarism but convergence of great minds: “Moby Duck” was beautifully done on BBC Radio forty or fifty years ago, on Round the Horne or Beyond Our Ken (one of those Kenneth Horne shows). I think Kenneth Williams played Cap’n Ahab. Nobody ever did crazed ranting like Kenneth Williams…

Seek out the sound files on “Radio 7” on the BBC site, those shows have lasted.

Wiley, thanks for over 18 years of fun. I confess re-reading all the strips from Feb 92 since I found this place… maybe I should get a life. :o)

Imagine Picard chasing this Great White Duck across time.

Platypus everywhere send their regrets they never got a foot in the door on this one.

Worse was the first sentence: Call me Ishcabibble

Captain ARAB likely wouldn’t have gone over either.

Moby Duck is actually a duck? If we take the real title seriously, it’s pretty scary!

The writer here hasn’t yet learned the lesson that I could never stomach. You never discard an idea because you think it’s stupid, especially in screenwriting.

I mean how else do movies like ‘Piranha’ and ‘Santa Claus Conquers the Martians’ get made?

The big white duck:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Duck

I know Red would like to hear stories about Mobie Tadpole.

So tell me, He-Manatee, what does a Moby Dick look like?

At one time, I had heard that Moby Dick was a medical condition.

just be glad it’s not that bad tempered white RABBIT from the search for the holy grail that RABBIT was dynamite the Knights might have had better luck if they had tried to harpoon it

“It was the devious-cruising Rachel the duck, that in her retracing search after her missing ducklings, only found another orphan.”

Too bad Melville changed his mind - Moby Duck would have been a lot more fun to read.

According to the Writer’s Almanac, Moby Dick was a flop when it came out. Nobody cared about the history of whaling, or Ahab’s obsession, they wanted action.

I guess it only became a clasic when it went into public domanin, and teachers began assigning it to students who had to read it.

“What also floats on water… A duck! So logically…if she weighs the same as a duck….then she’s made out of wood! Therefore… She’s a WITCH!” ~Monty Python and the Holy Grail (paraphrased)

NO ONE THOUGHT of THAT OBNOXIOUS ” AFLAC ” !!!

Dang, Sonny, I was gonna say that at least with the duck he could get insurance for his boat…but now I won’t….

TexTech- I think you are confusing Mody Dick with the dreaded Ping Pong Balls condition.

Melville could have really gotten down with Moby Duck!

Eider way it would have been a tough read…

Oh, mallard! This strip quacked me up!

Queequack, I love it!! Very funny thebird55!

In thinking it over, I can see how a giant duck would have made a much more exciting movie with alot of angry quacking and hysterical flapping going on.

I don’t remember the whale saying a dang thing.

His nephew Donald got a longer career, even with a speech impediment.

I don’t mean to duck the issue, but are Huey, Dewey and Louie REALLY Donald’s “nephews”????

GuntotingLiberal: “The writer here hasn’t yet learned the lesson that I could never stomach. You never discard an idea because you think it’s stupid, especially in screenwriting.”

My firm belief is that there’s no idea so stupid that a good piece can’t come from it. It’s all a matter of execution.

WoodEye: “It would have had to have been a comedy!”

Jack Murnighan, in his book “Beowulf on the Beach”, points out that Melville actually DID put a lot of deliberate comedy in “Moby Dick.” Ishmael is kind of a smartass. There’s at least one point where he makes a very esoteric fart joke, hinging on the reader’s presumed knowledge of one of Pythagoras’s dicta, “Don’t eat beans”. (Murnighan’s book, as the title suggests, argues that much Classic literature can (and perhaps should) be read for entertainment as well as “improvement”. He points out the funny bits, the sexy bits, the odd facts, and so on. He also tells you what parts you can safely skip or skim. While it’s written with a lot of humor, it’s by no means “humor” writing. Recommended.)

NightShade, it wasn’t a complete flop. Many critics and (more importantly) other writers admired “Moby Dick” highly, and even though it was never a best-seller – it “pleased not the million; ‘twas caviare to the general” – it was highly regarded in the right circles.

It’s magnificent – tragical-comical-historical-cetological – and I even like the point-by-point breakdowns of whales and whaling.

fritzoid i have bought and read many of the “classics” over the past couple of years and have enjoyed all of them (except Lorna Doone, but so what). Moby Dick hasn’t been on my list until now, but it may just find its way to my bookshelf in the near future.

LOL! what?! reading Wiley is NOT living? seems pretty lively to me! Keep them coming!

I so enjoy this strip (the art is fabulous) and the comments that come with it, but when someone like “fritzoid” know some information and I get to find out some really interesting fact… all I have to say is this is one GREAT strip !

Eng 201 Moby Dick 700 pages. Can I sue Mr Melville and UCONN for my two decade fight with substance abuse. It wasn’t till I read The Hitch hiker’s Trilogy (was that 4 or 5 books) that I finally regained my love of travel without the use of foreign substances.Moby Dick caused me to hide in my room for 20 years. Any lawyers here?

I just wondered why “Duck” crossed out. Maybe that man who wrote only two words; “Moby Duck” was afraid to write “Dick” No offense! OK! I think he thinks that word “Dick” is too harsh word to write for a story. :-/

Lewreader, if you were hiding in your room for 20 years, you ought to have been reading “In Search of Lost Time.” After all, that’s what Proust was doing while he was writing it…

RE Huey, Louie, and Dewey - no. Just like Melodie, Millicent, and Maisie, Minnie’s “nieces”, and Morty and Ferdie, Mickey’s “nephews”… none of Disney’s characters ever got married…

Huey, Dewey and Louie are the sons of Donald’s sister Della (nicknamed Dumbella). Morty and Ferdie are the sons of Mickey’s sister Mrs. Amelia Fieldmouse. Moby Duck is a sea captain that Donald meets occasionally, but it’s not clear if he’s a relative or not. He’s a klutz who claims to be a great whaler but seldom if ever actually kills a whale.

how about: “Romeo and Ethel, the Pirate’s Daughter”?

“There’s this pirate, you see…”

It’s got everything! Love, and a bit with the dog…

A good example of a stupid idea well-executed is “Pride & Prejudice & Zombies”. That’s actually a really fun book, but if it had been executed badly it would have been truly horrible. Alas, it’s spawned many imitators, and I’ve heard that the others (including but not limited to “Sense & Sensibility & Sea Monsters”) are pale shadows.

However, one that I only heard of this weekend looks like I’m going to have to check it out:

“Functioning robots are all alike; every malfunctioning robot malfunctions in its own way.” – Android Karenina, by Leo Tolstoy and Ben H. Winters

From the classic laws of robotics, fritz? As I mov(e) through literature, I appreciate the best(er) of of classics, Sf and otherwise. though I admit, the further this discussion goes we get stranger AND stranger in a strange land.

Once again I disagree, fritzoid. I could not get through that horrible mishmash called “Pride & Prejudice & Zombies” - I see why the author later committed suicide. Have you even READ any of the reviews? “His subject matter leaves a LOT to be desired in this book. It’s raunchy beyond belief. People do things with farm animals that they shouldn’t. I couldn’t get through the first two chapters without vomiting.” “While the story did have a great moral to go along with it, it was about dirt! Dirt and migrating. Dirt and migrating and more dirt. And farm animals.” “It is incredibly boring and disgusting. I was very much disturbed when I found young children killing each other. I think that anyone with a conscience would agree with me.” It would appear fritzoid has no conscience or he would not be recommending this filth. Perhaps he has his own problems, of course, and should be more pitied than scorned, but as a decent Christian gentleman, I find it very difficult to pity such a one…

This is a million-dollar idea I apparently had some time ago, but had forgotten until my friend reminded me of it just now.

“Casablanca 3000” - a line-by-line remake of “Casablanca” set in a remote space colony during a galactic war. The screenplay is perfect as it is, so it would just need to be edited for place names and such.

“Why did you come to Morrok IV, Rick?” “I came for the waters.” “But Morrok IV is a desert planet - there are no waters here.” “I was misinformed.”

“I remember every detail. The Zontarians wore grey - to match their skin. You wore blue - to match your skin.”

“Never underestimate Terran blundering. I was with them when they blundered into Zontares Beta in 2982.”

(I guess I said at one point that this would be the ONLY possible justification for remaking “Casablanca”, which is my favorite movie of all time.)

Ushindi, I have NO idea what book those reviewers were reading, but it wasn’t “P&P&Z.”

(So do me a favor and find out, would you? THAT book sounds like a “Must Read!”)

I knew people who thought that book by Herman Melville was about an std.

Wiley, as a writer stymied by her first draft, thank you for the much-needed guffaw!

Since I never finished reading Moby Dick, all I can do is:

Wiley, now that you’ve nailed Mellville, how about taking a crack at Jane Austen? Snails and Sensibilities might work. Or you could always try the The Three Musk-ox-teers

Sorry, not realy trying to make strip suggestions, just couldn’t resist a little flight of fancy myself! (Although his wings look too smal to support that body)

Hey Tex – that medical condition was actually Mopey Dick – sorry couldn’t resist.

Well, fritzoid, I have to confess; these were actual reviews of some pretty famous books. The first one was a review of “Beloved”, by Toni Morrison (the “without vomiting” one - I confess I changed the “her” to a “him”). The second was of course “Grapes of Wrath” ( I threw in the gratuitous “farm animals”). The last, about the children, was a review of “Lord of the Flies”. More? ““The book is not readable because of the overuse of adverbs.” - a review of Lord of the Rings. “This book is one of the worst books I have ever read. I got to about page 3-4.” - Tropic of Cancer. “I don’t see why this book is so fabulous. I would give it a zero. I find no point in writing a book about segregation, there’s no way of making it into an enjoyable book. And yes I am totally against segregation.” - To Kill A Mockingbird.

In the interest of full disclosure (almost forgot that), I must tell you these are some of the many amazing Amazon book reviews by its customers, NOT professional literary reviews.

I wanna see the Cap’n Eddie draft of “Moby Dick.”

Ah, Ushindi, I didn’t recognize any of them.

Yeah, critical respone is what is it. And popular response is what it is. But somehow or another, “classic” literature survives. If a book is still being read 150 years (or 250 years, or 500 years) after its first appearance, there’s probably a reason…

There are a couple of publishers that put out editions of books that were best-sellers 100 years ago or so that otherwise would have been forgotten, and I find it fun to go back from time to time and read what my great-great-grandmother might have read (does the name “Marie Corelli” mean anything to you? You’ve probably heard of Svengali, but have you ever read “Trilby”? When was the last time you read a novel centered around the French Foreign Legion?). There’s a saying “It’s remarkable how many books you don’t have to read if you just wait a year”, but it’s asking a bit too much of your average fiction reader to wait 50 years after publication to decide whether a book is worth reading or not.

That being said, my reaction to Henry Miller was probably similar to that of the reviewer you quoted…